"Completion", Remus/Sirius, R

[bluegeek]

Title: Completion
Author: exiled_mind
Rating: very light R
Summary: The inevitable is not always so, when Sirius Black is involved.
Author’s note: Inspired by wellymuck’s April 2nd prompt. Betaed with speed and perception by amor_remanet. This style is an experiment, so any and all feedback is appreciated.



Life and living have a cycle, a relentless rhythm that carries you along until it is through, and then you come to the end. Birth, life, and death. No magic could completely halt the cycle; only prolong it, oftentimes at a cost.

But what of one’s own cycles? The individual ones: one’s own force upon the world and one’s life, one’s own experiences forming unique rules and rhythms? Which force takes precedence?

All experience their own, big and small, significant and trivial, but each affects us.

For Remus, some were easier to manage than others.

The start of the school year would eventually lead to an end and a long break before yet another beginning.

The new moon would inevitably grow full, and the struggle of shape would overtake him once again, until that wretchedly powerful orb released its hold, to lie in wait another month.

Even more challenging, at times, than the cycles of the moon, was the cycle of Sirius Black. Remus had struggled with it, embraced it, hated it, and love it.

But he couldn’t escape it.

Even on those occasions when he’d tried.

So many times their love grew, blossomed, to be shared between them, and cherished. The new school terms were a reawakening, a building as it progressed, and the inevitable ending of the year, when it had to be placed on hold once again. To skitter around their consciousness until they allowed it to run free once again.

The growing bursts of it that came with scattered moments, stolen kisses, and wandering caresses. The angry, dying sparks of it, as hurt and pain came from betrayal to snuff it out. And succeeded, for a time, before the sparks were once again fanned into a tiny flame, and a then a growing blaze.

So many times did this pattern ring true; birth to life to death. And, when connected to Sirius Black, to rebirth.

Young love, growing and blossoming, to be severed in a mad instant with the mere utterance of a few, ill-thought words. To be followed by the remorse, forgiveness, and new trust forged.

Restrained tension breaking free, pouring into wild kisses and groping hands, smooth thrusts and desperate gasps, a wild release and slow descent. A comfortable satiation that would last until the tension began to climb again.

Small, insidious suspicions, growing into a vast chasm, and then death, incarceration, and abandonment.

And even then, when there should have been no hope, naught but suspicion and hate, there was no escaping loving Sirius; it built again: wariness to truth to trust. And always to love.

Sirius always returned to him. There was always more to explore, more to build, more to touch.

So when Sirius’ unease grew to that irresistible point when he charged into battle to protect what was his, when he fought valiantly to prove himself once again, when he fell…

Remus knew he wasn’t finished with his cycle. From summer to autumn to winter, he’d traveled, and they must simply wait for spring. The inevitable, dependable resurrection.

As Remus raised his face into the breeze and pulled his cloak more tightly around his shoulders, he ignored that tiny part of him that was afraid.

Afraid that his friend, his lover, the man who had so loved to break the rules and markedly depart from tradition, might have done so now, and broken the rhythm; quit the cycle. Leaving and returning. Darkness to light. Death to life.

The natural cycle fought against Sirius’ own cycle, and Remus wanted Sirius to win.