Gleecap: Dream On (S1E19)
Jul. 18th, 2011 03:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluegeekFast-Forward Count: 1
OMG! This is theDoogie Howser Neil Patrick Harris episode!
Figgins calls Will to his office to introduce him to NPH, ahem, I mean Bryan Ryan, the newest member of the school board and man who holds the future of arts education funding in hisjazz hands. Only Will has already met NPH back in high school. They were rivals. Oh, this is going to be fun, won't it?
Oh god, we're flashbacking to NPH in high school with all of his mulleted glory singing a duet with a girl with extremely bleached and permed hair. Will is adorable in his awkward, head bobbing geekiness. And then NPH does a completely unnecessary magic trick in the middle of his duet? And then takes the time to slam a geeky, freshman Will. Dude, you're a junior. Why bother?
NPH threatens to cut the glee club. Even though, back in their high school days, glee was NPH's life. Apparently NPH is a bit bitter, however, because glee gave him hopes and dreams and the illusion that he could actually make it big when, in fact, he was destined to become a washed-up drug addicted has been. In the ″West Lima crack district.″ Lima has a crack district? And a west?
Anyways, having reached rock bottom, NPH found Jesus (his Honduran social worker), straightened up, and got married. He's now a used-Hummer salesman who runs a show choir rehab group. Now he wants to talk to the current glee club and crush their budding hopes and dreams. Misery does love company, it would seem. Will objects to this plan, but as usual he has no say in what happens to and in his club, so NPH gets his way.
I would like to point out that Principal Figgins utters the famous last words, ″What's the worst that could happen?″ You've met Sue before, haven't you, Figgins? I'm sure she'll pop in here to egg NPH on. In fact, is she already in on it? Why is NPH focusing only on the glee club? Why not the band, choir, jazz band, and theatre kids, too?
Speaking to the glee club, NPH tells them to write down their dreams. The three we are treated to are unsurprising:
Rachel: To be a STAR! *sticker*
Puck: 3some (Yup. He spelled it that way.)
Quinn: To avoid stretch marks.
The NPH grabs Artie's paper of dreams, crumples it into a ball, and chucks it in the trash. Oh symbolism. He then proceeds to crush everyone's hopes and dreams. When guessing (correctly) that a lot of the club's dreams involve show biz *jazz hands* Rachel and Kurt exchange a glance. Busted! NPH holds up Will's failed hopes and dreams as an example for the club. Students end up in tears. Awww, come on, guys. You've held up under the strain of Sue Sylvester this long – stay strong! I mean, NPH has a point, but this is Glee! Look at the lot of you! You made it!
Artie and Tina talk in the library about dreams. Tina finds out (by digging in the trash to see what his paper said) that Artie's dream is to be a dancer. Artie is sad because he knew that his dream will never come true even without NPH there to rub it in his face. Awww. Damn, guys. Tina tells him to not give up hope. Since Will didn't give them an assignment this week, she's proposing that they do a dance number together as their substitute assignment. (I initially wrote ″stand-in assignment″ but realized that it could be read as a sly, backhand joke at Artie, which was definitely not intended.) Artie is flattered that Tina wants to dance with him.
Cut to Rachel practicing ballet with Jesse looking on. She stops as she realizes he's there. They exchange awkward and shy greetings. So apparently they're talking again. Jesse asks what she's doing and Rachel tells him about NPH's sadface speech and how it shook her confidence in her dreams. Jesse is kind of adorable and really quite charming as he tells her, ″A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me, Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd isn't a fantasy. It's an inevitability.″ And then they hug. Awwww. You guuuuys.
Rachel: ″I thought you'd never come back.″
Jesse: ″And miss all your drama? Never.″
Ahahahahahaha! Oh Jesse. I guess I might learn to like you. Anyways, Jesse questions Rachel on her real dreams. Rachel confides to him that her dream is to find out about her birth mom. Jesse is committed to make sure that Rachel gets to realize that dream.
Tina and Artie tap dance together. Artie has tap wheels. Artie is unimpressed with his tap wheel skills. He wants to try maneuvering on borrowed crutches. Oh my word, guys, I think I can see where this episode is going. We finally get an Artie-centric episode and it's going to be about the harsh reality of his wheelchair-bound condition and his hopes getting crushed, isn't it? Oh god whyyyyyyyyy? I would like an Artie-triumph episode please.
The crutches trial works out about as well as you'd think it would for this show and I am really worried about how long I can watch Artie suffer since I know this isn't all this show is gonna throw at me.
Will approaches NPH who is cataloging home economics supplies. I think the home ec teacher is safe since NPH thinks that teaching the kids of Lima food preparation skills is far more likely to serve them well in the future than teaching them to sing. Damn, he is playing this jaded character extremely dry and well, isn't he? Anyways, Will wants to buy NPH a beer and have a chat. Are we gonna have drunken shenanigans?
Rachel found her mother: Broadway's Patti LuPone. Riiiiiight. Jesse wide-eyes his disbelief at her, which Rachel actually picks up on. Then she tries for Bernadette Peters. *sigh* When asked why she's so afraid to find out the truth, Rachel admits that she's afraid her mother is some teenage trollop like Quinn (*eyeroll*) or some skanky girl who'd do anything for cash. Jesse wisely points out that it doesn't have to be one of those choices. He wants to do a real investigation. Why are you pushing this so hard, Jesse? I am becoming suspicious again. Anyways, Rachel's family's basement is apparently a little Rachel Berry museum of memorabilia, which I suspect only adds to the... special parts of her character. The investigation starts there.
Will talks about how NPH was such a hot shot back in school. The only one who got away from him? Will's ex, Terri. Hah. Oh dear. Will makes the mistake of volunteering this information to NPH, who Will only see this as Will getting something that he wanted, thereby contributing to his ultimate downfall in life, right? Excellent. Anyways, Will tells NPH that the thing that got him through the tough divorce times is music and the glee club. Will's overshare about how much music and helping the kids has helped him seems to break through to NPH, however, as he finally breaks down and tells Will how much he misses performing and how empty his current life is. He even sneaks away to New York to mainline Broadway shows. ″I have a box of playbills hidden away in my basement, Will. Like porn!″ Oh, NPH. I think I may love you.
Will fires up the 'ol jukebox and pulls up Billy Joel's ″Piano Man.″ NPH is initially reluctant, but quickly throw himself into it. They duet together (along with Billy) and sound nice when they harmonize. In a drunken bar kinda way. Kinda like when I went to Toronto and everyone in the Fairmont's Library Bar sang along with the acoustic performer to the song. Anyways, apparently Lima's community theatre group is conveniently auditioning for Les Miserables later that week and Will convinces NPH to join him in trying out.
Back to Tina and Artie. Artie is trying to come to grips (again) with his situation, but Tina has !done research! and shows him a bunch of studies and reports on current and future treatments for spinal cord injuries and nerve damage. I know she has the best of intentions, but it sounds like Artie has seen a number of doctors on the subject already and probably done his own info-gathering... please don't make the pain worse, Tina. Anyways, they kiss and there is a massively annoying lensflare in this scene that they must have stolen from JJ Abrams and the Star Trek reboot movie.
Rachel's place. Rachel finds The Shrine in the basement both creepy and flattering. Heh. Right, Rachel. You know you love it. Also, her dads apparently saved her baby teeth. All of them. Is that normal? And apparently Rachel did ballet in the womb and won a singing competition as an eight month-old.
AHH! AH-HA! What are you up to, Jesse?! While Rachel reminisces, sneaky-Jesse slips a cassette tape into a box of Rachel memorabilia and then ″discovers″ it. The tape is titled ″From Mother to Daughter.″ Jesse is all gung-ho about listening to it but Rachel balks. It's too much, too soon. What if her mother sings? What if she's terrible? What if she's better than her? Oh, Rachel. Jesse pressures her about listening to it, not understanding why she might have reservations about something this important to her. Rachel correctly points out that this is her choice and she'll decide when she's ready, thankyouverymuch.
Also, do kids these days even have cassette players anymore? And listen to me with the ″kids these days″ crap... I am not in a rocker on a porch swinging a cane, I swear.
Les Mis rehearsals. Will is doing some weird gargle warm-up. He is pleased to see that NPH showed up but less pleased to hear they they are both trying out for the part of Jean Valjean. Greeeeeat. This is gonna end well. Anyways, NPH steals Will's tryout song choices out from under him and they bicker. Loudly. During another performer's audition. Nice, boys. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for kicking both of you out, isn't it?
Anyways, Will objects to NPH's thievery and NPH claims that Will is a sex-offender who's escaped from his caretaker. Classy. Anyways, the director/producer/whatever guy runs a dry-cleaners and can only close his business for thirty minutes at a time (rehearsals are gonna be a hoot, aren't they?) so they'd better sing it as a duet. Hahahaha!
So Will and NPH sing together to Aerosmith's ″Dream On″ and they are pretty awesome, I have to admit. They start across the stage from each other and play it like a reverse duel, walking towards each other instead of away. Will points at NPH like he's calling him out. And Will sounds pretty damn good. NPH does, too, mostly. And they are both a bit campy in their performances and climb and jump around the partially-built set. Will is a bit better rocker for the ″dream on″ lines, but then they both start wailing and screeching and I'm all O_O about it. Is that in the original? I've never heard the whole thing.
Artie and Tina are at the mall buying Artie tap shoes. *facepalm* As Tina goes to get them some pretzels, Artie tells her that he went to the doctor. I get a brief burst of hopefulness that he's about to tell her that he knows a cure isn't coming round the bend anytime soonish and they should face the reality of the near-future, but then why would he have bought tap shoes? Nope, turns out he went to the doctor and started all the miraculous new treatments already (Really? All of them? At once?) and gets out of his wheelchair.
This is a dream sequence, right? I almost Buttoned, but I stuck with it, and it was worth it (except for the crash at the end).
Anyways, Artie tells Tina that he spent years dreaming of what he would do if he could get out of the chair and that now he's going to do it: dance. He cues up ″Safety Dance″ by Men Without Hats (yes, I had to look it up) on the conveniently located stereo and begins to bust a move. So Kevin McHale is awesome, isn't he? He and the flash mob mall crowd go wild and it is a lot of fun. Though do I spy Brittany and Mike Chang dancing along there?
And then Artie crashes back down from his daydream to real life containing Tina and pretzels and wheelchairs.
AH-HA! My suspicions were correct! Sue is in cahoots with NPH! He threatens her Cheerios budget which he accurately points out is out of control, despite the fact that her cheerleaders sell tickets. Sue is tired of athletics always taking a back seat. Uh-huh. Sue and NPH have a fact-off about the benefits of the arts and athletics. They both have good points and they are awesome, despite the awkwardness of the 'rah rah, support our schools' PSA-esque feeling it exudes. Sue is more than just apretty evil face. She is an educator.
NPH is incredibly turned on by this exchange and proposes anger sex (conveniently the only kind Sue knows). Sue accepts, and even has a secret sex room upstairs. O_o This whole exchange was very aggressively delivered by the both of them.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesse IS in cahoots! Just not how I'd expected! He was planted at McKinley by Idina Menzel (oh all right, Shelby Whatsherface from Vocal Adrenaline), not to undermine the glee club but to get Rachel to realize that Idina/Shelby is her birth mother! So it had been revealed to me prior to this episode that Idina is Rachel's mom, but Jesse's true motivations weren't part of that revelation. Hmmmmm. Does this make him more or less smarmy?
Anyways, Jesse reveals that he's Idina's inside man and had initially thought of the mission as a good acting exercise, but now he's kinda fallen for Rachel and doesn't want to see her hurt. I assume he's telling the truth here, because there's no real reason to lie about it. Hmm, Idina... you realize your little spy almost banged your teenage daughter, right? Anyways, we find out about Idina's motivations for being the surrogate for Rachel's dads and her regret in never really getting the chance to meet her daughter. This episode is giving us a lot of backstory on two guest characters who will probably never be back, isn't it?
McKinley High Guidance Office With Glass Walls. Artie has come to see Emma for help as he imagines he'll need extra support dealing with his drastically altered life when he starts walking again. He shows her Tina's lovingly, if misguidedly, gathered research. Emma pages through it and is touchingly awkward as she tried to figure out how to dash Artie's hopes and dreams as gently as possible. And it isn't. And poor Artie. Neither of them make eye contact. They did a good job making this scene awkward and uncomfortable and sad. *sniffle*
NPH is bouncy and happy. He siphoned off funds from the Cheerios and bought goodies for the glee club. He's enthusiastic... right up until Sue shows up to drop the bomb about the results of Les Mis auditions. Will got the lead. NPH got the role of Townsperson. Oh shit, you are about to hit the fan, aren't you? NPHtakes his ball and goes home snatches back his loot and stomps off in a huff, right after telling Will that he's cutting the glee program.
Backstage at Les Mis, Will confronts NPH. Will tells him that if he cuts the glee club, the kids are certainly more likely to turn into NPH (a bitter, washed-up, annoying little twit, but that part is unspoken).
NPH: ″I've grown weary of your insults, Will. They sting. And they make me want to punch your face″
*snort* That's a common feeling, NPH. It lingers.
Will compares a failed star like NPH to an actual dying star. That turns into a black hole. And that if NPH cuts the program he'll create thirteen black holes. Riiiiiiiiight. And then Will says he'll give NPH the part if he doesn't cut the glee club. NPH is unmoved by Will's speech... up until the part where he gets to be Jean Valjean, that is. It's a deal.
Rachel arrives home in her bedroom to find Jesse there and the tape all cued up. He tells her she's ready, kisses her, starts the tape, and leaves. Way to support her ability to make her own decisions, jerkface. Anyways, Idina sings ″I Dreamed A Dream″ (from, guess what! Les Miserables) and eventually Rachel joins in (and it's all dream-sequence-y, so clearly not actually happening) and they are lovely. They are both wearing black dresses and sporting long, slowing, softly-curled brown hair and damn this is great casting. I'll admit it: I'm touched by their emotional duet.
Artie tells Tina to pick a different dance partner. He's decided to abandon dreams that will never come true and focus on the ones that will. He agrees to sing the song for her and Tina picks Other Asian, aka Mike Chang, as her partner. So... did they give Mike a chance to practice or learn the moves or anything? Or did he just dive into this? Artie opens ″Dream A Little Dream of Me″ (wikipedia tells me it was first recorded by Ozzie Nelson) for the club and then Mike and Tina begin their tap number. I'm assuming that this is in here not just to be neat, but also to hint at season two. We end with Artie solemnly singing the last line with Mike dipping Tina in the background.
Of note: Quinn actually looks pregnant this episode. How far along is she supposed to be, anyways?
OMG! This is the
Figgins calls Will to his office to introduce him to NPH, ahem, I mean Bryan Ryan, the newest member of the school board and man who holds the future of arts education funding in his
Oh god, we're flashbacking to NPH in high school with all of his mulleted glory singing a duet with a girl with extremely bleached and permed hair. Will is adorable in his awkward, head bobbing geekiness. And then NPH does a completely unnecessary magic trick in the middle of his duet? And then takes the time to slam a geeky, freshman Will. Dude, you're a junior. Why bother?
NPH threatens to cut the glee club. Even though, back in their high school days, glee was NPH's life. Apparently NPH is a bit bitter, however, because glee gave him hopes and dreams and the illusion that he could actually make it big when, in fact, he was destined to become a washed-up drug addicted has been. In the ″West Lima crack district.″ Lima has a crack district? And a west?
Anyways, having reached rock bottom, NPH found Jesus (his Honduran social worker), straightened up, and got married. He's now a used-Hummer salesman who runs a show choir rehab group. Now he wants to talk to the current glee club and crush their budding hopes and dreams. Misery does love company, it would seem. Will objects to this plan, but as usual he has no say in what happens to and in his club, so NPH gets his way.
I would like to point out that Principal Figgins utters the famous last words, ″What's the worst that could happen?″ You've met Sue before, haven't you, Figgins? I'm sure she'll pop in here to egg NPH on. In fact, is she already in on it? Why is NPH focusing only on the glee club? Why not the band, choir, jazz band, and theatre kids, too?
Speaking to the glee club, NPH tells them to write down their dreams. The three we are treated to are unsurprising:
Rachel: To be a STAR! *sticker*
Puck: 3some (Yup. He spelled it that way.)
Quinn: To avoid stretch marks.
The NPH grabs Artie's paper of dreams, crumples it into a ball, and chucks it in the trash. Oh symbolism. He then proceeds to crush everyone's hopes and dreams. When guessing (correctly) that a lot of the club's dreams involve show biz *jazz hands* Rachel and Kurt exchange a glance. Busted! NPH holds up Will's failed hopes and dreams as an example for the club. Students end up in tears. Awww, come on, guys. You've held up under the strain of Sue Sylvester this long – stay strong! I mean, NPH has a point, but this is Glee! Look at the lot of you! You made it!
Artie and Tina talk in the library about dreams. Tina finds out (by digging in the trash to see what his paper said) that Artie's dream is to be a dancer. Artie is sad because he knew that his dream will never come true even without NPH there to rub it in his face. Awww. Damn, guys. Tina tells him to not give up hope. Since Will didn't give them an assignment this week, she's proposing that they do a dance number together as their substitute assignment. (I initially wrote ″stand-in assignment″ but realized that it could be read as a sly, backhand joke at Artie, which was definitely not intended.) Artie is flattered that Tina wants to dance with him.
Cut to Rachel practicing ballet with Jesse looking on. She stops as she realizes he's there. They exchange awkward and shy greetings. So apparently they're talking again. Jesse asks what she's doing and Rachel tells him about NPH's sadface speech and how it shook her confidence in her dreams. Jesse is kind of adorable and really quite charming as he tells her, ″A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me, Argentina' in front of a sold-out crowd isn't a fantasy. It's an inevitability.″ And then they hug. Awwww. You guuuuys.
Rachel: ″I thought you'd never come back.″
Jesse: ″And miss all your drama? Never.″
Ahahahahahaha! Oh Jesse. I guess I might learn to like you. Anyways, Jesse questions Rachel on her real dreams. Rachel confides to him that her dream is to find out about her birth mom. Jesse is committed to make sure that Rachel gets to realize that dream.
Tina and Artie tap dance together. Artie has tap wheels. Artie is unimpressed with his tap wheel skills. He wants to try maneuvering on borrowed crutches. Oh my word, guys, I think I can see where this episode is going. We finally get an Artie-centric episode and it's going to be about the harsh reality of his wheelchair-bound condition and his hopes getting crushed, isn't it? Oh god whyyyyyyyyy? I would like an Artie-triumph episode please.
The crutches trial works out about as well as you'd think it would for this show and I am really worried about how long I can watch Artie suffer since I know this isn't all this show is gonna throw at me.
Will approaches NPH who is cataloging home economics supplies. I think the home ec teacher is safe since NPH thinks that teaching the kids of Lima food preparation skills is far more likely to serve them well in the future than teaching them to sing. Damn, he is playing this jaded character extremely dry and well, isn't he? Anyways, Will wants to buy NPH a beer and have a chat. Are we gonna have drunken shenanigans?
Rachel found her mother: Broadway's Patti LuPone. Riiiiiight. Jesse wide-eyes his disbelief at her, which Rachel actually picks up on. Then she tries for Bernadette Peters. *sigh* When asked why she's so afraid to find out the truth, Rachel admits that she's afraid her mother is some teenage trollop like Quinn (*eyeroll*) or some skanky girl who'd do anything for cash. Jesse wisely points out that it doesn't have to be one of those choices. He wants to do a real investigation. Why are you pushing this so hard, Jesse? I am becoming suspicious again. Anyways, Rachel's family's basement is apparently a little Rachel Berry museum of memorabilia, which I suspect only adds to the... special parts of her character. The investigation starts there.
Will talks about how NPH was such a hot shot back in school. The only one who got away from him? Will's ex, Terri. Hah. Oh dear. Will makes the mistake of volunteering this information to NPH, who Will only see this as Will getting something that he wanted, thereby contributing to his ultimate downfall in life, right? Excellent. Anyways, Will tells NPH that the thing that got him through the tough divorce times is music and the glee club. Will's overshare about how much music and helping the kids has helped him seems to break through to NPH, however, as he finally breaks down and tells Will how much he misses performing and how empty his current life is. He even sneaks away to New York to mainline Broadway shows. ″I have a box of playbills hidden away in my basement, Will. Like porn!″ Oh, NPH. I think I may love you.
Will fires up the 'ol jukebox and pulls up Billy Joel's ″Piano Man.″ NPH is initially reluctant, but quickly throw himself into it. They duet together (along with Billy) and sound nice when they harmonize. In a drunken bar kinda way. Kinda like when I went to Toronto and everyone in the Fairmont's Library Bar sang along with the acoustic performer to the song. Anyways, apparently Lima's community theatre group is conveniently auditioning for Les Miserables later that week and Will convinces NPH to join him in trying out.
Back to Tina and Artie. Artie is trying to come to grips (again) with his situation, but Tina has !done research! and shows him a bunch of studies and reports on current and future treatments for spinal cord injuries and nerve damage. I know she has the best of intentions, but it sounds like Artie has seen a number of doctors on the subject already and probably done his own info-gathering... please don't make the pain worse, Tina. Anyways, they kiss and there is a massively annoying lensflare in this scene that they must have stolen from JJ Abrams and the Star Trek reboot movie.
Rachel's place. Rachel finds The Shrine in the basement both creepy and flattering. Heh. Right, Rachel. You know you love it. Also, her dads apparently saved her baby teeth. All of them. Is that normal? And apparently Rachel did ballet in the womb and won a singing competition as an eight month-old.
AHH! AH-HA! What are you up to, Jesse?! While Rachel reminisces, sneaky-Jesse slips a cassette tape into a box of Rachel memorabilia and then ″discovers″ it. The tape is titled ″From Mother to Daughter.″ Jesse is all gung-ho about listening to it but Rachel balks. It's too much, too soon. What if her mother sings? What if she's terrible? What if she's better than her? Oh, Rachel. Jesse pressures her about listening to it, not understanding why she might have reservations about something this important to her. Rachel correctly points out that this is her choice and she'll decide when she's ready, thankyouverymuch.
Also, do kids these days even have cassette players anymore? And listen to me with the ″kids these days″ crap... I am not in a rocker on a porch swinging a cane, I swear.
Les Mis rehearsals. Will is doing some weird gargle warm-up. He is pleased to see that NPH showed up but less pleased to hear they they are both trying out for the part of Jean Valjean. Greeeeeat. This is gonna end well. Anyways, NPH steals Will's tryout song choices out from under him and they bicker. Loudly. During another performer's audition. Nice, boys. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for kicking both of you out, isn't it?
Anyways, Will objects to NPH's thievery and NPH claims that Will is a sex-offender who's escaped from his caretaker. Classy. Anyways, the director/producer/whatever guy runs a dry-cleaners and can only close his business for thirty minutes at a time (rehearsals are gonna be a hoot, aren't they?) so they'd better sing it as a duet. Hahahaha!
So Will and NPH sing together to Aerosmith's ″Dream On″ and they are pretty awesome, I have to admit. They start across the stage from each other and play it like a reverse duel, walking towards each other instead of away. Will points at NPH like he's calling him out. And Will sounds pretty damn good. NPH does, too, mostly. And they are both a bit campy in their performances and climb and jump around the partially-built set. Will is a bit better rocker for the ″dream on″ lines, but then they both start wailing and screeching and I'm all O_O about it. Is that in the original? I've never heard the whole thing.
Artie and Tina are at the mall buying Artie tap shoes. *facepalm* As Tina goes to get them some pretzels, Artie tells her that he went to the doctor. I get a brief burst of hopefulness that he's about to tell her that he knows a cure isn't coming round the bend anytime soonish and they should face the reality of the near-future, but then why would he have bought tap shoes? Nope, turns out he went to the doctor and started all the miraculous new treatments already (Really? All of them? At once?) and gets out of his wheelchair.
This is a dream sequence, right? I almost Buttoned, but I stuck with it, and it was worth it (except for the crash at the end).
Anyways, Artie tells Tina that he spent years dreaming of what he would do if he could get out of the chair and that now he's going to do it: dance. He cues up ″Safety Dance″ by Men Without Hats (yes, I had to look it up) on the conveniently located stereo and begins to bust a move. So Kevin McHale is awesome, isn't he? He and the flash mob mall crowd go wild and it is a lot of fun. Though do I spy Brittany and Mike Chang dancing along there?
And then Artie crashes back down from his daydream to real life containing Tina and pretzels and wheelchairs.
AH-HA! My suspicions were correct! Sue is in cahoots with NPH! He threatens her Cheerios budget which he accurately points out is out of control, despite the fact that her cheerleaders sell tickets. Sue is tired of athletics always taking a back seat. Uh-huh. Sue and NPH have a fact-off about the benefits of the arts and athletics. They both have good points and they are awesome, despite the awkwardness of the 'rah rah, support our schools' PSA-esque feeling it exudes. Sue is more than just a
NPH is incredibly turned on by this exchange and proposes anger sex (conveniently the only kind Sue knows). Sue accepts, and even has a secret sex room upstairs. O_o This whole exchange was very aggressively delivered by the both of them.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesse IS in cahoots! Just not how I'd expected! He was planted at McKinley by Idina Menzel (oh all right, Shelby Whatsherface from Vocal Adrenaline), not to undermine the glee club but to get Rachel to realize that Idina/Shelby is her birth mother! So it had been revealed to me prior to this episode that Idina is Rachel's mom, but Jesse's true motivations weren't part of that revelation. Hmmmmm. Does this make him more or less smarmy?
Anyways, Jesse reveals that he's Idina's inside man and had initially thought of the mission as a good acting exercise, but now he's kinda fallen for Rachel and doesn't want to see her hurt. I assume he's telling the truth here, because there's no real reason to lie about it. Hmm, Idina... you realize your little spy almost banged your teenage daughter, right? Anyways, we find out about Idina's motivations for being the surrogate for Rachel's dads and her regret in never really getting the chance to meet her daughter. This episode is giving us a lot of backstory on two guest characters who will probably never be back, isn't it?
McKinley High Guidance Office With Glass Walls. Artie has come to see Emma for help as he imagines he'll need extra support dealing with his drastically altered life when he starts walking again. He shows her Tina's lovingly, if misguidedly, gathered research. Emma pages through it and is touchingly awkward as she tried to figure out how to dash Artie's hopes and dreams as gently as possible. And it isn't. And poor Artie. Neither of them make eye contact. They did a good job making this scene awkward and uncomfortable and sad. *sniffle*
NPH is bouncy and happy. He siphoned off funds from the Cheerios and bought goodies for the glee club. He's enthusiastic... right up until Sue shows up to drop the bomb about the results of Les Mis auditions. Will got the lead. NPH got the role of Townsperson. Oh shit, you are about to hit the fan, aren't you? NPH
Backstage at Les Mis, Will confronts NPH. Will tells him that if he cuts the glee club, the kids are certainly more likely to turn into NPH (a bitter, washed-up, annoying little twit, but that part is unspoken).
NPH: ″I've grown weary of your insults, Will. They sting. And they make me want to punch your face″
*snort* That's a common feeling, NPH. It lingers.
Will compares a failed star like NPH to an actual dying star. That turns into a black hole. And that if NPH cuts the program he'll create thirteen black holes. Riiiiiiiiight. And then Will says he'll give NPH the part if he doesn't cut the glee club. NPH is unmoved by Will's speech... up until the part where he gets to be Jean Valjean, that is. It's a deal.
Rachel arrives home in her bedroom to find Jesse there and the tape all cued up. He tells her she's ready, kisses her, starts the tape, and leaves. Way to support her ability to make her own decisions, jerkface. Anyways, Idina sings ″I Dreamed A Dream″ (from, guess what! Les Miserables) and eventually Rachel joins in (and it's all dream-sequence-y, so clearly not actually happening) and they are lovely. They are both wearing black dresses and sporting long, slowing, softly-curled brown hair and damn this is great casting. I'll admit it: I'm touched by their emotional duet.
Artie tells Tina to pick a different dance partner. He's decided to abandon dreams that will never come true and focus on the ones that will. He agrees to sing the song for her and Tina picks Other Asian, aka Mike Chang, as her partner. So... did they give Mike a chance to practice or learn the moves or anything? Or did he just dive into this? Artie opens ″Dream A Little Dream of Me″ (wikipedia tells me it was first recorded by Ozzie Nelson) for the club and then Mike and Tina begin their tap number. I'm assuming that this is in here not just to be neat, but also to hint at season two. We end with Artie solemnly singing the last line with Mike dipping Tina in the background.
Of note: Quinn actually looks pregnant this episode. How far along is she supposed to be, anyways?
