bluegeek | Gleecap: Sectionals (S1E13)

Fast Forward Count: I don't remember. None, I guess?

So everyone in Glee knows that Puck is the father of Quinn's baby except Finn and Rachel. I wonder how long that's going to last. Apparently Quinn fell is dance practice and both Finn and Puck rushed to her aid, making Rachel Berry's shenanigans-antenna rise up and start blinking. And apparently, according to her at least, she is a little bit psychic. Great. Whatever will she do with her amazing powers? The other Glee clubbers run the other away, apparently wondering if Rachel's brand of crazy is contagious.

The rest of the club goes split-screen to discuss the impending horror and come up with a plan. I'd laugh at Mercedes and Tina talking on the phone while walking down the hallway right next to each other, but in college I was known to IM with roommates in the same room or apartment with me, so I guess I don't have much ground to stand on here.

On to the strategic planning session. Kurt wants to lock Rachel up in his basement. Isn't the basement his bedroom? Hmmmm. Nope. I definitely refuse to consider that OTP, okay? *shudder* More talking and- Wait, did Brittany just reveal that she and Santana are having sex? Awesome. Also, do Britt and Santana actually care about Glee? Are they more than just spies now?

Does McKinley High somehow have magical moving clouds of silence allowing these people to have conversations like this in the MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY without everyone and their mother overhearing them? Whatever, they don't have a plan yet but the scene ends anyways.

And Will says goodbye to Glee and puts Emma in charge. Even though her wedding is the same day as the competition. And she had to change the time of the ceremony. And Ken is Not Happy. Oh dear.

Then Rachel skillfully freaks Quinn out by questioning whether she's had the full battery of prenatal testing to make sure the baby doesn't have any conditions, scaring the suddenly bumped-out Quinn (seriously, did she steal Terri's pregnancy pad or something? She's just suddenly Having A Baby, or something.) with stories of her family Tay-Sachs scare. Then she slyly tells Quinn not to worry, that would only be a problem if one of the baby's parents were Jewish, and since Quinn and Finn aren't then there's no reason to worry the way there would be if it were, say, Rachel or Puck's kid.

Except that it is also known to exist (in higher incidence rates than the "typical" population) in groups of Amish, Cajuns, and French Canadians too. And it is autosomal recessive, meaning both parents would have to be carriers. We're going to pretend she knew all this and ignored it to suit her devious needs. Wow, Rachel. That is creepily clever of you, in a terribly twisted way.

Heh. Puck's in a fight club. And apparently he didn't listen to the rules very carefully, because he broke rules #1 & 2 by revealing its existence to Quinn and millions of Glee audience members.

And Will says his goodbyes, hands the reigns over to Emma, and tells the kids to figure out their set list. Shouldn't this have been dealt with ages ago? Actually, didn't Will give a copy of it to Sue two episodes ago? Come on. Unless he did it to trick her and throw her off their trail.

Time to pick a soloist for Sectionals. Gee, I wonder who might possibly be interested in that responsibility. I'm sure there's no one around who might want to step up and- oh, hi there Ms. Berry, why are you drooling? And Rachel tries to take the spotlight again, but Mercedes stand up to her and offers her own talents. And she nails it. And everyone seems pretty inspired by her. I'd say they've got themselves a sectionals song, wouldn't you? And Rachel fairly gracefully concedes the lead to her. Rock on, girls. You are awesome.

Oh shit! CODE RED, CODE RED! Rachel is about to drop the baby-bomb on Finn. TAKE COVER! Rachel! Just when I was giving you props you go and do this? Couldn't you have at least waited until after sectionals? And now Finn is trying to beat the crap out of Puck. I'm actually buying his reaction here. Nice job, Monteith.

So then Rachel apologizes to Quinn and admits her selfish plan to take Finn for herself, Quinn doesn't care, Puck tries to suck up to Quinn, and Quinn continues to not care.

Oh god, they elected sleazy reporter-kid Jacob as extra-warm-body to bring their numbers up to 12? Nice.

Wow, Rachel. You are decimating this club these past few episodes.

So time for performances. Our Glee clubbers pull the last slot and will be going third, much to mostly everybody's consternation. Turns out to be a fair worry, though. The Jane Adams girls sing Mercedes' song while their director looks on with an ill expression on her face. Our Glee kids look horrified. The the JA girls pull out the ″Rollin″ song, complete with wheelchairs. Sue Sylvester is a raging bitch and Emma is losing it. She calls Will in a panic.

Sue cultivates Venus Flytraps. Are we surprised? Will calls her out – on leaking the set list, not her choice in plant life – and they fight about it. Will is a pushover and Sue is pure, undiluted evil. It is amazing.

So now Will is trying to convince Finn to go to the competition and be a leader. No pressure, Finn. And so Schue leaves his keys with Finn, fully expecting him to rise to the challenge.

Oooh, and now Emma is guilt-tripping the other directors. Nice job, Em.

And now the Deaf Academy kids are performing ″Don't Stop Believing″ and the audience is finding it extremely touching. There are tears. Rachel is disgusted and flounces out.

Cut to the kids panicking in the prep room. Oh, and Santana just answered my earlier question by stating that, while she'll deny it if the news gets out, she really likes Glee club and thinks it's the best part of her day. Rachel believes her. Time to pull together an entirely new set list. Come on kids, you can do it! Rachel for a solo ballad, Somebody to Love, and... AND HERE COMES FINN! With the saving play. (that's a sports reference, right? I think I used it correctly in context) And wow, Cory Monteith really is a towering giant, isn't he? He carries with him their final number and they furiously begin to rehearse.

And it's time for the show to go on, starting with Rachel's ballad - ″Don't Rain On My Parade″ and she pretty much nails it. Where's everyone else? It's more interesting in ensemble. Ah, here they come, all entering from the back like Rachel did. Time for the next song ″You Can't Always Get What You Want.″ Wow, Glee, you wanna really twist the message home, don't you? Anyways, Finn sounds quite nice here. Definitely his sort of part. And the audience is up and jamming to it. That's probably a good sign, right?

Judges room. Oh. My. God. The blond is a reference to those much-publicized moronic beauty pageant interview answer contestants, isn't she? Has to be. I hope the actress had fun there, because that was hilarious in a really terrible way. Ewww, Rod Remington again. And someone who doesn't want to be there. Great panel of eexperts, eh? Urgh, Rod is making the moves on the blond judge. I feel sick.

The director for the Jane Adams girls is all ready to pull her group from the competition, but the decision has been made. Dun dun DUN!

And they aren't even going to tell us the damn results, instead cutting us over to a scene where Terri tries to make up with Will. It isn't working.

And now it's wedding time. Those are a lot of tables and food for a wedding Emma didn't want anyone going to and- OH GOD! KEN LEFT EMMA AT THE ALTAR! Oh, Emma. *sniff* The marriage would have been a disaster, and you treated him shabbily, but I still feel terrible for her. NO DON'T RESIGN! NO, EMMA!

I am thrilled that Emma had the self-respect to not only be honest with herself and Will, but to also not dive for the chance to snatch him up an hour after he left his wife.

...O_O...

...Sue just got fired from coaching the cheerleaders. And is suspended. And Figgins apparently thinks he needs a gavel. Of course after that display, he may have earned it. And Will is back in charge of Glee.

I fully expect the whole of McKinley High to be ablaze within hours. The only question is whether Sue will chain the doors and bar the windows first.

The kids won Sectionals! I suppose that considering this is only the middle of the first season, they'd really have to, wouldn't they? On to Regionals! And special performance dedicated to Will from the kids. ″My Life Would Suck Without You.″ Awwww.

Kurt looks like he's gonna go ride a horse when school lets out today. Equestrian-chic?

Apparently the song inspires Will to think about his life without Emma. He slow-mo runs his way down the hall to intercept her before she leaves and plants one right on her lips. Gee, I hope this doesn't all go horribly wrong.

Time to crack open the next group of DVDs.