Gleecap: Mattress (S1E12)
Jun. 25th, 2011 04:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluegeekFast Forward Count: 0
Oh Ken & Emma's wedding. Are we really doing this? And awww, the wedding is up against the kids competition. Whatever will Will do?
Ha! Dear, sweet Emma just asked Sue, who has two lovely shiners, if someone ″finally″ punched her. You're adorable, Emma. And Sue has apparently had an ″eyelift.″ What is that, exactly? Ya know what? Never mind, I don't want to know. And apparently Sue has also had her tear ducts removed since she wasn't using them anyways. Isn't she just precious?
Wait, so Sue made Figgins pull the Glee club photo in the yearbook? Can they do that? Isn't that a discrimination suit waiting to happen? On what grounds I don't know, but whatever. Clearly, Will will not let this stand! *fierce face*
Okay, so apparently the club, sans Rachel, is not that unhappy about the lack of photo, since the Glee club photos are always defaced. I mean, I can get why this is a problem, since the library or whatever copy is the one future students would look up and all (although, why?) but it's not like the jocks are breaking into your houses to deface YOUR copies of the blasted thing, right? Hmm, this is Glee, after all. Perhaps they are. It wouldn't be any more ridiculous than anything else on this show.
Whatever, everyone is happy without the photo and the descriptions of the fallout from previous club photo defacements were funny is a disturbing way. Kurt (pointing out a girl whose picture has been murderously defaced): ″Seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years, would prove eerily prescient.″
So will complains to Figgins who says that if Will wants a photo of the club he'll have to... buy it? What? Do all the other clubs have to buy their space? Would they have had to buy it prior to this little contrived mess? What? Whatever, I don't even. Anyways, it's going to cost $1000 for a full page to feature all the kids. For a $325, however, Will can buy a quarter page and put two kids on it. Oh gee, I wonder which two. * whistles * Anyways, just as Will is working out the details with Figgins, Rachel bursts in to spout her usual threats of lawsuits and her two gay dads and Will shuts her down by saying he's ″dealt″ with it. Right, Will. For varying definitions of the word ″dealt.″ Specifically in that you didn't really fix anything.
Oooh, it's not just the meathead jocks who deface photos, but the cheerleaders, too. Oh Britt, I'd expect that shit from the fabulous Santana, but you, too?
Ouch. Wow, Quinn. The ″bastard″ kid you're carrying now? Really. You're so soft and fuzzy. Excellent practice for parenting. What year is Quinn supposed to be here. Sophomore? And she was head cheerleader? And last year too? Does this school not have upperclassmen? I find this hard to believe. Anyways, Quinn vows to get back on the squad that Sue so recently and cruelly cut her from. Right. Can't wait to see you doing throws and flips at 8 months pregnant, Quinn.
So Will tried to convince Terri that spending $325 of their savings on the Glee club is an excellent investment. She is not buying. While I agree that's a hell of a lot of money for a quarter page photo layout that no one wants, I still question the wisdom of Terri's decision to guilt-trip Will using her fake pregnancy. Hear that ticking, Terri? That's your time running out on this charade.
Rachel, in her quest to be in as many yearbook photos as possible, tries to convince Kurt to start up a Gay and Lesbian Alliance club. While I agree that McKinley could use the help and education, Kurt does exactly what he should in the face of Rachel's crazy and walks away without a word.
So the Glee club votes on a captain (and thus the poor sucker who will be in the yearbook photo) and Mercedes saves me from having to listen to a speech by Rachel about how awesome she is, and then Rachel is captain of Glee. Color me surprised.
! Hahahaha! Even Emma admits to Rachel's annoyingness.
Emma and Will discuss Sectionals and her wedding. Will admits to Emma that he thinks Ken scheduled their wedding to conflict with the Glee performance on purpose. Well, duh. Emma defends Ken and reveals that she actually keeps a count of his flaws. Like, specifically. He has 74 of them. But that despite those flaws he is a good man who would never ever do such a heartless thing as try to keep his fiancee's wandering eye away from the object of her affections and his crew of losers. Totally.
The Glee captaincy has already gone to Rachel's head. Which is saying something. Will tells her to choose a co-captain, which she is initially Not Happy about, but then manages to turn it around into a positive thing by thinking of the co-captain as her lieutenant. Riiiiiight. Mercedes, Artie, and Brittany all turn her down. Finn tries to do the same, but he's such a wishy-washy pushover than Rachel is able to guilt and manipulate him into agreeing to be co-captain. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Then Rachel wants to teach him how to smile right or something, but I walked out of the room to refill my tea, so I missed it.
Then Finn is roughed up in the locker room (not that way, get your heads out of the gutter) by meathead jocks telling him they can't wait to deface his photo. Gee, I wonder if this is going to affect his photo plans.
Turns out it will. Rachel shows up and poses obnoxiously for the photos on her own when she broken-heartedly realizes that Finn has ditched her in favor of his reputation (and balls). I do feel kind of bad for her. It is lonely at the top, Rachel. Just keep telling yourself that is where you are. Anyways, she learns from the photoshoot guy that he has to cut off her extensive posing because he has a professional shoot to go to. Rachel's opportunity-radar is immediately tweaked. She offers up her talents (except for nudity and animal cruelty) and when photoshoot guy tells her he needs and group, not just one person, she knows exactly where to turn.
The Glee kids are dressed in matching pajamas and tittering about their impending fame. Mercedes informs them that once she has her record deal, she's never speaking to them again. Nice, Mercedes, going with the ″never remember the little people″ plan. They do a run through of the ″script″ and it is terrible. Rachel suggests that the camera crew/mattress owners take advantage of the fact they they have hired a singing group for their commercial and let them, ya know, sing. Fortunately, the Glee club happens to have just the number prepared: ″Jump!″
I have to admit it, guys: the mattress commercial performance was adorable.
While the kids are all bouncing about, Will is at home combing through the bedroom drawers looking for his pocket square. I was unaware that school pictures were such a formal occasion, but I digress. Anyways, he's digging through the drawers and finds... Dun dun dun! Terri's pregnancy pad. I seem to remember having previously pointed out what a terrible idea storing it there is, did I not? And it all falls apart. She comes up with a surprisingly good excuse on the fly but Will doesn't buy it. I guess he'd actually managed to subconsciously note some of the GIANT FREAKING WARNING SIGNS already. He's devastated and angry and she cries and blames the glee club (Dude, what?) and I do believe that the end is nigh for their marriage.
Will retreats to the warm, comforting arms of the McKinley High music room (*snort*) and finds a giant stack of mattresses piled up on the floor. Rather than climbing to the top and having a fairytale fantasy, he yanks one down and uses it as his bed. I... guess he has no other place to crash?
Sue's on her TV thing and ranting about ugly fat people. Charming. And then she sees the Glee club's commercial. To steal a line from Scooby Doo: Ruh-roh!
Apparently doing the commercial means that the club has gone pro, disqualifying themselves from competition. Sue is delighted. And incredibly horrible. Oh Sue, after that little scene in Figgins' office I really, really hate you. She was really venomous in this scene. Yikes. Anyways, Will says the kids were only paid with mattresses and so they can just give them back. Except for the used one that he slept on the night before. Oh dear.
Sue is busy basking in her victory in her office when Quinn walks in wearing her Cheerleading outfit and demands to be reinstated. Sue tries to put her down, but Quinn points out that everything Sue got Will in trouble for doing? Sue has done regularly in the past. And Quinn knows it and can turn her in, disqualifying the Cheerios from their own competition if she isn't returned to the team. Yowza. Dude. You have to have nerves of STEEL to attempt to blackmail on Sue Sylvester. As a cherry on top, Quinn also demands that Sue relinquish one of the cheer squads bazillion yearbook photo pages to the Glee club so that everyone in Glee can be in the picture. And then Quinn decides not to rejoin the Cheerios anyways. Whatever. Quinn, you are an impressively aggressive negotiator/blackmailer. Since it's against Sue Sylvester? I approve. Though I fully expect her to nuke your ass, pregnant or not.
Will decides that the solution to this dilemma is to disqualify himself and step down from Glee director, since he was the only one to actually use one of the mattresses. With him making that sacrifice, the kids are clear to go ahead on to Sectionals. Awww, no more Will? I doubt this will last.
And then the club gets their picture taken and the inevitable happens. And watching the nasty-ass jocks deface the Glee Clubs photo at the end with the ″smile″ song in the background made me incredibly sad.
Oh Ken & Emma's wedding. Are we really doing this? And awww, the wedding is up against the kids competition. Whatever will Will do?
Ha! Dear, sweet Emma just asked Sue, who has two lovely shiners, if someone ″finally″ punched her. You're adorable, Emma. And Sue has apparently had an ″eyelift.″ What is that, exactly? Ya know what? Never mind, I don't want to know. And apparently Sue has also had her tear ducts removed since she wasn't using them anyways. Isn't she just precious?
Wait, so Sue made Figgins pull the Glee club photo in the yearbook? Can they do that? Isn't that a discrimination suit waiting to happen? On what grounds I don't know, but whatever. Clearly, Will will not let this stand! *fierce face*
Okay, so apparently the club, sans Rachel, is not that unhappy about the lack of photo, since the Glee club photos are always defaced. I mean, I can get why this is a problem, since the library or whatever copy is the one future students would look up and all (although, why?) but it's not like the jocks are breaking into your houses to deface YOUR copies of the blasted thing, right? Hmm, this is Glee, after all. Perhaps they are. It wouldn't be any more ridiculous than anything else on this show.
Whatever, everyone is happy without the photo and the descriptions of the fallout from previous club photo defacements were funny is a disturbing way. Kurt (pointing out a girl whose picture has been murderously defaced): ″Seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years, would prove eerily prescient.″
So will complains to Figgins who says that if Will wants a photo of the club he'll have to... buy it? What? Do all the other clubs have to buy their space? Would they have had to buy it prior to this little contrived mess? What? Whatever, I don't even. Anyways, it's going to cost $1000 for a full page to feature all the kids. For a $325, however, Will can buy a quarter page and put two kids on it. Oh gee, I wonder which two. * whistles * Anyways, just as Will is working out the details with Figgins, Rachel bursts in to spout her usual threats of lawsuits and her two gay dads and Will shuts her down by saying he's ″dealt″ with it. Right, Will. For varying definitions of the word ″dealt.″ Specifically in that you didn't really fix anything.
Oooh, it's not just the meathead jocks who deface photos, but the cheerleaders, too. Oh Britt, I'd expect that shit from the fabulous Santana, but you, too?
Ouch. Wow, Quinn. The ″bastard″ kid you're carrying now? Really. You're so soft and fuzzy. Excellent practice for parenting. What year is Quinn supposed to be here. Sophomore? And she was head cheerleader? And last year too? Does this school not have upperclassmen? I find this hard to believe. Anyways, Quinn vows to get back on the squad that Sue so recently and cruelly cut her from. Right. Can't wait to see you doing throws and flips at 8 months pregnant, Quinn.
So Will tried to convince Terri that spending $325 of their savings on the Glee club is an excellent investment. She is not buying. While I agree that's a hell of a lot of money for a quarter page photo layout that no one wants, I still question the wisdom of Terri's decision to guilt-trip Will using her fake pregnancy. Hear that ticking, Terri? That's your time running out on this charade.
Rachel, in her quest to be in as many yearbook photos as possible, tries to convince Kurt to start up a Gay and Lesbian Alliance club. While I agree that McKinley could use the help and education, Kurt does exactly what he should in the face of Rachel's crazy and walks away without a word.
So the Glee club votes on a captain (and thus the poor sucker who will be in the yearbook photo) and Mercedes saves me from having to listen to a speech by Rachel about how awesome she is, and then Rachel is captain of Glee. Color me surprised.
! Hahahaha! Even Emma admits to Rachel's annoyingness.
Emma and Will discuss Sectionals and her wedding. Will admits to Emma that he thinks Ken scheduled their wedding to conflict with the Glee performance on purpose. Well, duh. Emma defends Ken and reveals that she actually keeps a count of his flaws. Like, specifically. He has 74 of them. But that despite those flaws he is a good man who would never ever do such a heartless thing as try to keep his fiancee's wandering eye away from the object of her affections and his crew of losers. Totally.
The Glee captaincy has already gone to Rachel's head. Which is saying something. Will tells her to choose a co-captain, which she is initially Not Happy about, but then manages to turn it around into a positive thing by thinking of the co-captain as her lieutenant. Riiiiiight. Mercedes, Artie, and Brittany all turn her down. Finn tries to do the same, but he's such a wishy-washy pushover than Rachel is able to guilt and manipulate him into agreeing to be co-captain. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Then Rachel wants to teach him how to smile right or something, but I walked out of the room to refill my tea, so I missed it.
Then Finn is roughed up in the locker room (not that way, get your heads out of the gutter) by meathead jocks telling him they can't wait to deface his photo. Gee, I wonder if this is going to affect his photo plans.
Turns out it will. Rachel shows up and poses obnoxiously for the photos on her own when she broken-heartedly realizes that Finn has ditched her in favor of his reputation (and balls). I do feel kind of bad for her. It is lonely at the top, Rachel. Just keep telling yourself that is where you are. Anyways, she learns from the photoshoot guy that he has to cut off her extensive posing because he has a professional shoot to go to. Rachel's opportunity-radar is immediately tweaked. She offers up her talents (except for nudity and animal cruelty) and when photoshoot guy tells her he needs and group, not just one person, she knows exactly where to turn.
The Glee kids are dressed in matching pajamas and tittering about their impending fame. Mercedes informs them that once she has her record deal, she's never speaking to them again. Nice, Mercedes, going with the ″never remember the little people″ plan. They do a run through of the ″script″ and it is terrible. Rachel suggests that the camera crew/mattress owners take advantage of the fact they they have hired a singing group for their commercial and let them, ya know, sing. Fortunately, the Glee club happens to have just the number prepared: ″Jump!″
I have to admit it, guys: the mattress commercial performance was adorable.
While the kids are all bouncing about, Will is at home combing through the bedroom drawers looking for his pocket square. I was unaware that school pictures were such a formal occasion, but I digress. Anyways, he's digging through the drawers and finds... Dun dun dun! Terri's pregnancy pad. I seem to remember having previously pointed out what a terrible idea storing it there is, did I not? And it all falls apart. She comes up with a surprisingly good excuse on the fly but Will doesn't buy it. I guess he'd actually managed to subconsciously note some of the GIANT FREAKING WARNING SIGNS already. He's devastated and angry and she cries and blames the glee club (Dude, what?) and I do believe that the end is nigh for their marriage.
Will retreats to the warm, comforting arms of the McKinley High music room (*snort*) and finds a giant stack of mattresses piled up on the floor. Rather than climbing to the top and having a fairytale fantasy, he yanks one down and uses it as his bed. I... guess he has no other place to crash?
Sue's on her TV thing and ranting about ugly fat people. Charming. And then she sees the Glee club's commercial. To steal a line from Scooby Doo: Ruh-roh!
Apparently doing the commercial means that the club has gone pro, disqualifying themselves from competition. Sue is delighted. And incredibly horrible. Oh Sue, after that little scene in Figgins' office I really, really hate you. She was really venomous in this scene. Yikes. Anyways, Will says the kids were only paid with mattresses and so they can just give them back. Except for the used one that he slept on the night before. Oh dear.
Sue is busy basking in her victory in her office when Quinn walks in wearing her Cheerleading outfit and demands to be reinstated. Sue tries to put her down, but Quinn points out that everything Sue got Will in trouble for doing? Sue has done regularly in the past. And Quinn knows it and can turn her in, disqualifying the Cheerios from their own competition if she isn't returned to the team. Yowza. Dude. You have to have nerves of STEEL to attempt to blackmail on Sue Sylvester. As a cherry on top, Quinn also demands that Sue relinquish one of the cheer squads bazillion yearbook photo pages to the Glee club so that everyone in Glee can be in the picture. And then Quinn decides not to rejoin the Cheerios anyways. Whatever. Quinn, you are an impressively aggressive negotiator/blackmailer. Since it's against Sue Sylvester? I approve. Though I fully expect her to nuke your ass, pregnant or not.
Will decides that the solution to this dilemma is to disqualify himself and step down from Glee director, since he was the only one to actually use one of the mattresses. With him making that sacrifice, the kids are clear to go ahead on to Sectionals. Awww, no more Will? I doubt this will last.
And then the club gets their picture taken and the inevitable happens. And watching the nasty-ass jocks deface the Glee Clubs photo at the end with the ″smile″ song in the background made me incredibly sad.
