Gleecap: Journey (S1E22)
Jul. 21st, 2011 09:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluegeekFast-Forward Count: 0
Regionals are finally here! And not a bit of actual Regionals practice in sight. Unless they're doing those awful funk numbers. Oh god, please no.
As Will places Regionals posters around the school, Sue prances by and informs him that she's going to be a judge at the Regionals competition. And suddenly all of Will's hopes and dreams are dashed.
Shit, guys. They're doomed.
Will complains to Figgins, but I'm not sure what he thinks Figgins is going to be able to do about it. I don't get how Sue is even allowed to be a judge anyways, but whatever. Sue tells them that the show choir Powers That Be have decided to have the competition judged by celebrities, and that is apparently what Sue is. Both Wills spine and spirit are subsequently broken as Sue tears him down and Figgins reiterates their deal about either placing at Regionals or disbanding the club.
And now we're flashbacking to the conception of Puck and Quinn's fetus. Greeeeat. We get to see Puck encourage the wine coolers on a wishy-washily protesting Quinn who is ″worried″ about the Celibacy Club and Finn. Neither of them seem particularly concerned about Finn, actually. Quinn has the presence of mind to ask about protection and Puck assures her that he's ″got it″ and that she's not just another hookup for him. Uh-huh. Apparently Puck doesn't ″got″ a strong grasp of contraception, because look where it got them. At least this scene is slightly less date-rapey than I'd feared.
We then see that Quinn is reminiscing in front of a window. They are at a glee club pizza party that is more like a wake. And Quinn is due in a month. Okay, so are we trying to establish a timeline here? I'm pretty sure this is the last episode in the season and I'd thought they were gonna go out with a bang (or the results of one, natch!)
Oh. My. God. They still haven't decided on their setlist. Regionals is THAT WEEKEND. What are you people DOING?!?!?!
Everyone acknowledges how doomed they all are and begin to cry. Rachel wants everyone to take turns talking about how what they love about glee club instead of picking a set list. It really is a wake. I want to give Tina a hug.
Will turns to Emma (Finally!!) for guidance. She reminds him why he stayed with the glee club all those episodes ago and then informs him that she's been seeing a new man – her dentist, Carl. Carl admires her impeccable oral hygiene. Will completely inappropriately begins to ask if they've had sex yet. He apparently realizes how inappropriate that is and backtracks, but they both know what he was trying to ask. Before Will leaves, Emma stops him and gives him the answer that he is not at all entitled to: no, they haven't. Why did you do that, Emma? It just makes it clear that you value Will's opinion way too much.
Will's driving his crappy car down the road with the muffler dragging as he searches through the radio, stopping on Journey's ″Don't Stop Believing.″ Will stops the car and starts to cry.
Finn confronts Rachel in the hallway, telling her that she is the heart of the glee club and without her usual motivating (and annoying) support, they'll never achieve anything. Finn is actually having an opinion, and not just letting life happen around him; he's taking a stand. And supporting the glee club. Rachel is apparently turned-on by these traits because she leans over and plants a sweet kiss on a surprised Finn. Then she smiles. It's pretty cute. I think Lea Michele must be, like, four steps higher on the stairs to be Cory Monteith's height.
Glee club. Will is giving them an ″inspiring″ speech about how in a few years they won't remember each others' names or what songs they sang long ago. Niiice. Hey, Will? You're doing it wrong. Then he tells them they're doing a Journey medley to celebrate the fun they've had on the road to Regionals (which, incidentally, is the name for this section of season one, but I seem to remember the ″road″ being more about hormones and drama rather than fun, but whatever). This scene is punctuated by cute shots of friends and couples together: Tina and Artie, Mercedes and Kurt, Rachel and Finn, and Santana and Brittany.
They are all a bit cheerier after that.
And suddenly we are at the Regionals competition. Wow. So this means the rest of the episode is entirely the competition? Let's see how this goes. I suspect drama and shenanigans.
Our judges:
JOSH GROBAN IS BACK!!!!
Olivia Newton-John (Oh my god, is Groban gonna mack on her?)
Rod Remington (smarmy!)
Sue Sylvester
Oh, I definitely call shenanigans when they get Rod and Sue in the judge's room together.
The first group up? Aural Intensity (*snerk * Oral) singing an ONJ/Josh Groban mash-up. SHENANIGANS! I feel like performing an artist's own song to them is not the greatest of ideas, but whatever. The New Directions are dispirited. Will is disappointed in them if all they are in it for is to win. Even though that's been his goal all along (albeit for the purpose of keeping Glee alive, but still). Apparently their secret weapon is Finn's dancing.
...
Oh god, they're doomed. The second season is imaginary. DARREN CRISS IS IMAGINARY!
Finn and Rachel (who looks gorgeous) prepare themselves.
Rachel: ″Break a leg.″
Finn: ″I love you.″
FINN! IS THIS REALLY THE TIME? Oh for the love of-
Curtain. And, okay. When the announcer says their name it sounds like Nude Erections. Is this a case of Getting Crap Past The Censors?
They enter from the back of the auditorium. Just like they did in their Sectionals performance. Hmmm. Rachel and Finn start out singing a duet to ″Faithfully″ and it's quite nice and emotional. I think they need an edgier male voice for this song than Finn's, but Rachel sounds great and carries them through. And now the curtain rises to reveal the rest of the glee club ″ohhh-ing″ in the background dramatically.
And now they're on to ″Any Way You Want It″ with Rachel still on female lead and Puck stepping up for male lead. He definitely gets ″edgy″ points. Also, I will note that the piano player guy is playing while looking over his shoulder to watch them perform.
And as they finish up, Quinn's mom (it took me a second to place her) arrives and sits in the audience.
And now the kids launch into ″Don't Stop Believing.″ The opening section highlights each of the original glee club members, which I love. Then we have Finn and Rachel on lead, segue to Puck and Santana (YAY!) grabbing it for a bit, and then Rachel and Artie. Mercedes belts it out and brings them into a key change. Bam. The audience has turned into a jumping, flailing mosh pit. They kinda rocked it, and actually looked like they were having fun. They exit the stage in an excited, triumphant flurry.
Quinn's mom gets backstage and calls out to Quinn, who is shocked to see her. Mama Quinn thinks they were all wonderful and regrets missing all of Quinn's other performances. And she's kicked Quinn's father out for having an affair. (Not for tossing their scared and pregnant daughter out on the street? Nice priorities, lady.) She wants Quinn to come home and keep the baby. Quinn is in shock. ...And her water broke.
So this puts her... what? Three weeks before her due date, or so? Borderline premature, depending on whose measurement you use. Greeeeeat. At least she's having a girl.
Time for Vocal Adrenaline's performance. And it occurs to me that the New Directions just performed in the middle Death Spot. Ah well. VA is singing Queen's ″Bohemian Rhapsody.″ I begin to have a Canada flashback. (Shoutout to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lauriegilbert!) As Jesse emotes his way through the song, what looks like all of the New Directions are running through the hallways of a hospital pushing a panicky Quinn in a wheelchair. Quinn's mom, I'll note, is still with them, and she's exactly who Quinn turns to for support. And Quinn wants Mercedes with her too.
QUINCEDES!
And now Vocal Adrenaline are launching girls through the air just as Quinn is collapsing back against her bed in a pained heap. And then we focus more on Quinn, finally, in time for a screaming delivery sequence with Quinn looking at Puck and telling him ″You suck″ repeatedly (ha!) while he looks on in shock and fear. Quinn's mother seems to be actually useful here as a support person, so rock on Quinn's mom. You have a ways to go to redeem yourself, but it's a start.
Puck takes a peek under the drape and yanks himself away with a look of horror. I have actually seen this happen, so go you Mark Salling.
Quinn's yells continue to echo the lyrics sung by Vocal Adrenaline. (″Mama!″ ″Let me go!″ ″Ah!″)
And then the show commits the atrocity of grouping the entirety of Vocal Adrenaline around Jesse and moving in and out around him as he pops up and down AT THE SAME TIME as Quinn is pushing out her kid, meaning that VA is VISUALLY GIVING BIRTH TO JESSE ON STAGE!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*whimper*
I may never recover.
And now we see that Rachel has not joined the rest of New Directions in the hospital with Quinn because she's busy glaring daggers at Jesse et al.
I do believe that Quinn has succeeded in pushing out that baby, if everyone else's pleased looks are any indication. Puck looks like he may, in fact, pass out. And they've managed to pick an adorable baby to play the part of Quinn's kid. An adorable giant baby, but a cute one nevertheless. Quinn and her daughter look at each other and they are beautiful. Quinn is smiling.
(I will note that, in addition to being big, the baby is markedly not-gross immediately following birth. Still... cute.)
And I know that Bohemian Rhapsody is a ridiculously long song, but if that's the actual length of Quinn's labor and not just a convenient overlap then dayum!
Rachel approaches Idina/Shelby and offers her a job as co-director of the glee club at McKinley. Since when did Rachel gain hiring power, hmm? Anyways, Idina shoots her down. She's got other plans, other dreams. And directing glee club, any glee club, is not one of them.
Judging time. Sue informs ONJ that she is dead to her. She refers to Josh Groban as 'horsey.' She doesn't give a crap about first or second place, but she has a very strong opinion about 3rd place. Gee, I wonder what that opinion is.
Rod Remington interrupts Sue to reminisce about his past and admire Vocal Adrenaline. Self-involved ONJ is insulted that only one group chose to honor her, supporting Aural Intensity. Josh Groban puts his hand in the air and waits to be called upon (*snerk*) before asking Sue if she's single and admiring the New Directions' heart. ONJ scoffs and begins to trash them. Trashes them enough that even Sue is looking rather uncomfortable at ONJ's heartlessness, snobbery, and bitchery.
Oooh, Sue is in a quandry. Kill the glee club while supporting her nemesis ONJ or change her mind about the club and fight back against ONJ. Decisions, decisions...
ONJ begins to trash Sue, too, telling her that she isn't a celebrity, she just tries hard. And obviously trying hard isn't going to get you anywhere in the real world, right? Rod Remington agrees with ONJ, commenting that Sue and the New Directions have a lot in common: underachievers with delusions of grandeur. Aren't you just some wash-out newscaster in Ohio yourself, Rod? And now even Josh Groban is getting in on the jerk act. Oh Josh, I am so disappointed in you.
Sue is disheartened. The judges vote. Sue announces the winners.
Runners Up: "The not-at-all stupidly-named Aural Intensity"
Apparently pandering works, but only to a point.
First Place: Vocal Adrenaline
The New Directions did not place. So according to Figgins' deal, glee is over.
Puck and Quinn admire their daughter through the nursery window. They decide not to keep her, but they do bond a bit. They've named their daughter Beth. And Idina Menzel is there, admiring their daughter too.
...
I see what's happening here.
Cut to the school. Figgins and Emma are having a screaming fight. Emma was standing up for the glee club. Figgins is apparently unmoved. Will and Emma talk and Will tells Emma that he loves her then pulls her into a kiss. Because Will is completely unable to stay on task.
Rachel calls Will into the auditorium. The kids are lined up on stage and prepared to share their thoughts. At the beginning of the year he/she/they:
Matt: Was just another football player (and he got another line!)
Tina: Had a stutter
Mercedes: Was a closet diva
Quinn: Was the captain of the Cheerios
Mike: Was afraid to dance outside his room (he gets a line, too!)
Santana: Hated everyone in this club (but, don't you still?)
Britt: Agreed with Santana
Kurt: Wasn't honest about who he was (and is currently dressed as though he is trying to get in touch with his inner sailor)
Puck: Was tossing kids into dumpsters
Artie: Had never kissed a girl before
Rachel: Was being slushied
Finn: Didn't have a father, someone he could look up to and model himself after (Oh, Finn. I assure you, there is a far more awesome father figure on this show for you to model after than the Schuester, but whatever. We'll go with this for emotions' sake)
Will looks about to cry, as do several of the kids. The kids have decided that regardless of what the judges say, they won. And so they sing ″To Sir With Love ″. As they sing, Will fights off tears and we see Sue Sylvester watching from the back of the auditorium. She looks thoughtful and perhaps a bit conflicted.
Sue approaches Will in the barren choir room. While they snipe at each other, we see a flashback to the judging session. Sue's ballot placed New Directions in first and VA in third. Oh, Sue. I'd hug you but I value my internal organs.
Sue trashes the club and Will elaborately... and also bemoans a world wherein she cannot continue to do so in the future. And that's why she's convinced Figgins to give the club another year.
...
Dude, WHAT?
Oh my god. She did a good thing and yet still managed to be totally, utterly, amazingly Sue Sylvester at the same time. I love her. And feel like I need a shower.
Will breaks the good news to the kids, who celebrate accordingly. Rachel wants to jump into rehearsing for the next year's Sectionals immediately, and as much as I am usually annoyed by her stressful enthusiasm, given this year's lack of proper preparation, I'm kind of with her on this one. Will, of course, shoots her down and tells them to take the summer off. Will's one last present to the kids is to sing ″Over the Rainbow″ to them in a duet with Puck.
Mercedes and Quinn reach out and clasp hands across Kurt's lap, who smiles and grabs onto both of them. It is adorable. Kuincedes? Puck and Quinn eye each other. Artie gazes adoringly at Tina and they hold hands. Rachel puts her head on Finn's shoulder. Finn and Kurt exchange a glance. Mercedes puts her head on Kurt's shoulder. Quinn tugs Kurt's hat askew and instead of violently amputating her hand at the wrist, he just smiles and adjusts it. Brittany and Santana clasp pinky fingers and laugh and Brittany puts her head on Santana's shoulder. I am squeeing, just a little bit. Alright, I'm willing to admit I see the club-as-family thing now.
And Idina Menzel gazes lovingly down at her daughter as she names her ″Beth.″
And I've just finished season one of Glee. I think I need a cigarette.
Don't forget to let me know if you'd like me to continue with these recaps or retire the hobby for when I watch season 2.
Regionals are finally here! And not a bit of actual Regionals practice in sight. Unless they're doing those awful funk numbers. Oh god, please no.
As Will places Regionals posters around the school, Sue prances by and informs him that she's going to be a judge at the Regionals competition. And suddenly all of Will's hopes and dreams are dashed.
Shit, guys. They're doomed.
Will complains to Figgins, but I'm not sure what he thinks Figgins is going to be able to do about it. I don't get how Sue is even allowed to be a judge anyways, but whatever. Sue tells them that the show choir Powers That Be have decided to have the competition judged by celebrities, and that is apparently what Sue is. Both Wills spine and spirit are subsequently broken as Sue tears him down and Figgins reiterates their deal about either placing at Regionals or disbanding the club.
And now we're flashbacking to the conception of Puck and Quinn's fetus. Greeeeat. We get to see Puck encourage the wine coolers on a wishy-washily protesting Quinn who is ″worried″ about the Celibacy Club and Finn. Neither of them seem particularly concerned about Finn, actually. Quinn has the presence of mind to ask about protection and Puck assures her that he's ″got it″ and that she's not just another hookup for him. Uh-huh. Apparently Puck doesn't ″got″ a strong grasp of contraception, because look where it got them. At least this scene is slightly less date-rapey than I'd feared.
We then see that Quinn is reminiscing in front of a window. They are at a glee club pizza party that is more like a wake. And Quinn is due in a month. Okay, so are we trying to establish a timeline here? I'm pretty sure this is the last episode in the season and I'd thought they were gonna go out with a bang (or the results of one, natch!)
Oh. My. God. They still haven't decided on their setlist. Regionals is THAT WEEKEND. What are you people DOING?!?!?!
Everyone acknowledges how doomed they all are and begin to cry. Rachel wants everyone to take turns talking about how what they love about glee club instead of picking a set list. It really is a wake. I want to give Tina a hug.
Will turns to Emma (Finally!!) for guidance. She reminds him why he stayed with the glee club all those episodes ago and then informs him that she's been seeing a new man – her dentist, Carl. Carl admires her impeccable oral hygiene. Will completely inappropriately begins to ask if they've had sex yet. He apparently realizes how inappropriate that is and backtracks, but they both know what he was trying to ask. Before Will leaves, Emma stops him and gives him the answer that he is not at all entitled to: no, they haven't. Why did you do that, Emma? It just makes it clear that you value Will's opinion way too much.
Will's driving his crappy car down the road with the muffler dragging as he searches through the radio, stopping on Journey's ″Don't Stop Believing.″ Will stops the car and starts to cry.
Finn confronts Rachel in the hallway, telling her that she is the heart of the glee club and without her usual motivating (and annoying) support, they'll never achieve anything. Finn is actually having an opinion, and not just letting life happen around him; he's taking a stand. And supporting the glee club. Rachel is apparently turned-on by these traits because she leans over and plants a sweet kiss on a surprised Finn. Then she smiles. It's pretty cute. I think Lea Michele must be, like, four steps higher on the stairs to be Cory Monteith's height.
Glee club. Will is giving them an ″inspiring″ speech about how in a few years they won't remember each others' names or what songs they sang long ago. Niiice. Hey, Will? You're doing it wrong. Then he tells them they're doing a Journey medley to celebrate the fun they've had on the road to Regionals (which, incidentally, is the name for this section of season one, but I seem to remember the ″road″ being more about hormones and drama rather than fun, but whatever). This scene is punctuated by cute shots of friends and couples together: Tina and Artie, Mercedes and Kurt, Rachel and Finn, and Santana and Brittany.
They are all a bit cheerier after that.
And suddenly we are at the Regionals competition. Wow. So this means the rest of the episode is entirely the competition? Let's see how this goes. I suspect drama and shenanigans.
Our judges:
JOSH GROBAN IS BACK!!!!
Olivia Newton-John (Oh my god, is Groban gonna mack on her?)
Rod Remington (smarmy!)
Sue Sylvester
Oh, I definitely call shenanigans when they get Rod and Sue in the judge's room together.
The first group up? Aural Intensity (*snerk * Oral) singing an ONJ/Josh Groban mash-up. SHENANIGANS! I feel like performing an artist's own song to them is not the greatest of ideas, but whatever. The New Directions are dispirited. Will is disappointed in them if all they are in it for is to win. Even though that's been his goal all along (albeit for the purpose of keeping Glee alive, but still). Apparently their secret weapon is Finn's dancing.
...
Oh god, they're doomed. The second season is imaginary. DARREN CRISS IS IMAGINARY!
Finn and Rachel (who looks gorgeous) prepare themselves.
Rachel: ″Break a leg.″
Finn: ″I love you.″
FINN! IS THIS REALLY THE TIME? Oh for the love of-
Curtain. And, okay. When the announcer says their name it sounds like Nude Erections. Is this a case of Getting Crap Past The Censors?
They enter from the back of the auditorium. Just like they did in their Sectionals performance. Hmmm. Rachel and Finn start out singing a duet to ″Faithfully″ and it's quite nice and emotional. I think they need an edgier male voice for this song than Finn's, but Rachel sounds great and carries them through. And now the curtain rises to reveal the rest of the glee club ″ohhh-ing″ in the background dramatically.
And now they're on to ″Any Way You Want It″ with Rachel still on female lead and Puck stepping up for male lead. He definitely gets ″edgy″ points. Also, I will note that the piano player guy is playing while looking over his shoulder to watch them perform.
And as they finish up, Quinn's mom (it took me a second to place her) arrives and sits in the audience.
And now the kids launch into ″Don't Stop Believing.″ The opening section highlights each of the original glee club members, which I love. Then we have Finn and Rachel on lead, segue to Puck and Santana (YAY!) grabbing it for a bit, and then Rachel and Artie. Mercedes belts it out and brings them into a key change. Bam. The audience has turned into a jumping, flailing mosh pit. They kinda rocked it, and actually looked like they were having fun. They exit the stage in an excited, triumphant flurry.
Quinn's mom gets backstage and calls out to Quinn, who is shocked to see her. Mama Quinn thinks they were all wonderful and regrets missing all of Quinn's other performances. And she's kicked Quinn's father out for having an affair. (Not for tossing their scared and pregnant daughter out on the street? Nice priorities, lady.) She wants Quinn to come home and keep the baby. Quinn is in shock. ...And her water broke.
So this puts her... what? Three weeks before her due date, or so? Borderline premature, depending on whose measurement you use. Greeeeeat. At least she's having a girl.
Time for Vocal Adrenaline's performance. And it occurs to me that the New Directions just performed in the middle Death Spot. Ah well. VA is singing Queen's ″Bohemian Rhapsody.″ I begin to have a Canada flashback. (Shoutout to
lauriegilbert!) As Jesse emotes his way through the song, what looks like all of the New Directions are running through the hallways of a hospital pushing a panicky Quinn in a wheelchair. Quinn's mom, I'll note, is still with them, and she's exactly who Quinn turns to for support. And Quinn wants Mercedes with her too.QUINCEDES!
And now Vocal Adrenaline are launching girls through the air just as Quinn is collapsing back against her bed in a pained heap. And then we focus more on Quinn, finally, in time for a screaming delivery sequence with Quinn looking at Puck and telling him ″You suck″ repeatedly (ha!) while he looks on in shock and fear. Quinn's mother seems to be actually useful here as a support person, so rock on Quinn's mom. You have a ways to go to redeem yourself, but it's a start.
Puck takes a peek under the drape and yanks himself away with a look of horror. I have actually seen this happen, so go you Mark Salling.
Quinn's yells continue to echo the lyrics sung by Vocal Adrenaline. (″Mama!″ ″Let me go!″ ″Ah!″)
And then the show commits the atrocity of grouping the entirety of Vocal Adrenaline around Jesse and moving in and out around him as he pops up and down AT THE SAME TIME as Quinn is pushing out her kid, meaning that VA is VISUALLY GIVING BIRTH TO JESSE ON STAGE!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*whimper*
I may never recover.
And now we see that Rachel has not joined the rest of New Directions in the hospital with Quinn because she's busy glaring daggers at Jesse et al.
I do believe that Quinn has succeeded in pushing out that baby, if everyone else's pleased looks are any indication. Puck looks like he may, in fact, pass out. And they've managed to pick an adorable baby to play the part of Quinn's kid. An adorable giant baby, but a cute one nevertheless. Quinn and her daughter look at each other and they are beautiful. Quinn is smiling.
(I will note that, in addition to being big, the baby is markedly not-gross immediately following birth. Still... cute.)
And I know that Bohemian Rhapsody is a ridiculously long song, but if that's the actual length of Quinn's labor and not just a convenient overlap then dayum!
Rachel approaches Idina/Shelby and offers her a job as co-director of the glee club at McKinley. Since when did Rachel gain hiring power, hmm? Anyways, Idina shoots her down. She's got other plans, other dreams. And directing glee club, any glee club, is not one of them.
Judging time. Sue informs ONJ that she is dead to her. She refers to Josh Groban as 'horsey.' She doesn't give a crap about first or second place, but she has a very strong opinion about 3rd place. Gee, I wonder what that opinion is.
Rod Remington interrupts Sue to reminisce about his past and admire Vocal Adrenaline. Self-involved ONJ is insulted that only one group chose to honor her, supporting Aural Intensity. Josh Groban puts his hand in the air and waits to be called upon (*snerk*) before asking Sue if she's single and admiring the New Directions' heart. ONJ scoffs and begins to trash them. Trashes them enough that even Sue is looking rather uncomfortable at ONJ's heartlessness, snobbery, and bitchery.
Oooh, Sue is in a quandry. Kill the glee club while supporting her nemesis ONJ or change her mind about the club and fight back against ONJ. Decisions, decisions...
ONJ begins to trash Sue, too, telling her that she isn't a celebrity, she just tries hard. And obviously trying hard isn't going to get you anywhere in the real world, right? Rod Remington agrees with ONJ, commenting that Sue and the New Directions have a lot in common: underachievers with delusions of grandeur. Aren't you just some wash-out newscaster in Ohio yourself, Rod? And now even Josh Groban is getting in on the jerk act. Oh Josh, I am so disappointed in you.
Sue is disheartened. The judges vote. Sue announces the winners.
Runners Up: "The not-at-all stupidly-named Aural Intensity"
Apparently pandering works, but only to a point.
First Place: Vocal Adrenaline
The New Directions did not place. So according to Figgins' deal, glee is over.
Puck and Quinn admire their daughter through the nursery window. They decide not to keep her, but they do bond a bit. They've named their daughter Beth. And Idina Menzel is there, admiring their daughter too.
...
I see what's happening here.
Cut to the school. Figgins and Emma are having a screaming fight. Emma was standing up for the glee club. Figgins is apparently unmoved. Will and Emma talk and Will tells Emma that he loves her then pulls her into a kiss. Because Will is completely unable to stay on task.
Rachel calls Will into the auditorium. The kids are lined up on stage and prepared to share their thoughts. At the beginning of the year he/she/they:
Matt: Was just another football player (and he got another line!)
Tina: Had a stutter
Mercedes: Was a closet diva
Quinn: Was the captain of the Cheerios
Mike: Was afraid to dance outside his room (he gets a line, too!)
Santana: Hated everyone in this club (but, don't you still?)
Britt: Agreed with Santana
Kurt: Wasn't honest about who he was (and is currently dressed as though he is trying to get in touch with his inner sailor)
Puck: Was tossing kids into dumpsters
Artie: Had never kissed a girl before
Rachel: Was being slushied
Finn: Didn't have a father, someone he could look up to and model himself after (Oh, Finn. I assure you, there is a far more awesome father figure on this show for you to model after than the Schuester, but whatever. We'll go with this for emotions' sake)
Will looks about to cry, as do several of the kids. The kids have decided that regardless of what the judges say, they won. And so they sing ″To Sir With Love ″. As they sing, Will fights off tears and we see Sue Sylvester watching from the back of the auditorium. She looks thoughtful and perhaps a bit conflicted.
Sue approaches Will in the barren choir room. While they snipe at each other, we see a flashback to the judging session. Sue's ballot placed New Directions in first and VA in third. Oh, Sue. I'd hug you but I value my internal organs.
Sue trashes the club and Will elaborately... and also bemoans a world wherein she cannot continue to do so in the future. And that's why she's convinced Figgins to give the club another year.
...
Dude, WHAT?
Oh my god. She did a good thing and yet still managed to be totally, utterly, amazingly Sue Sylvester at the same time. I love her. And feel like I need a shower.
Will breaks the good news to the kids, who celebrate accordingly. Rachel wants to jump into rehearsing for the next year's Sectionals immediately, and as much as I am usually annoyed by her stressful enthusiasm, given this year's lack of proper preparation, I'm kind of with her on this one. Will, of course, shoots her down and tells them to take the summer off. Will's one last present to the kids is to sing ″Over the Rainbow″ to them in a duet with Puck.
Mercedes and Quinn reach out and clasp hands across Kurt's lap, who smiles and grabs onto both of them. It is adorable. Kuincedes? Puck and Quinn eye each other. Artie gazes adoringly at Tina and they hold hands. Rachel puts her head on Finn's shoulder. Finn and Kurt exchange a glance. Mercedes puts her head on Kurt's shoulder. Quinn tugs Kurt's hat askew and instead of violently amputating her hand at the wrist, he just smiles and adjusts it. Brittany and Santana clasp pinky fingers and laugh and Brittany puts her head on Santana's shoulder. I am squeeing, just a little bit. Alright, I'm willing to admit I see the club-as-family thing now.
And Idina Menzel gazes lovingly down at her daughter as she names her ″Beth.″
And I've just finished season one of Glee. I think I need a cigarette.
Don't forget to let me know if you'd like me to continue with these recaps or retire the hobby for when I watch season 2.
