Gleecap: The Power if Madonna (S1E15)
Jul. 2nd, 2011 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluegeekFast Forward Count: 0
Sue writes in her journal of her love for Madonna. And breaks the fourth wall by acknowledging her voiceover. Interesting. Is this a bad time to admit that I do not own (nor have I illegally downloaded) a single song by Madonna. And that I can only name a very short list of her songs? Don't tell Sue Sylvester on me.
Sue blackmails Figgins into playing Madonna songs on the loudspeaker at academically unwise volumes and tells her Cheerios that, in an effort to bolster their Nationals success, they will have to endeavor to honor Madonna in all ways, up to and including dating younger men. Preferably several of them at once. And referring to each other by first names only.
Apparently Jesse and Rachel go out to Wiggles concerts on their dates. Followed by intense makeouts. That's gotta be awkward. And Jesse is pressuring her for sex. I don't know how he drew the line from the Wiggles to sex, but I suppose that is a stereotypically teenage boy thing to do. Anyways, Rachel is going into far too much detail on this hypothetical situation to the Glee ladies, and fortunately Quinn cuts her off with a curt, ″Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby.″ Thank goodness for fetal squeamishness.
Speaking of Quinn and her baby, where are they shacking up these days? Her parents kicked her out and I imagine that she is no longer staying with fake-baby-daddy Finn's family.
Anyways, Rachel is asking for advice on how to handle a guy getting annoyed with her for saying no. Santana's strategy is to never say no, which Brittany agrees with, adding, ″What's the worst that could happen?″ Cut to a shot of Quinn's face. Awkward.
Mercedes acknowledges that she may not be the best person to ask given that the last person she had a crush on was gay. Tina says that they all just need to come to grips with the fact that guys don't care about girls' feelings. Her example? Artie telling her that he's willing to forgive her for faking her stutter and deign to date her, but only if she changes her goth outlook on life and get a new wardrobe. What a charmer he is.
Oh, I get it. In this episode we're going to dial the boys' latent (hah, right) misogyny up to a billion and make their behavior really over-the-top, aren't we? Not that the issues aren't there already, mind you, but I can just see us taking this to new and plot-convenient heights.
Will notices the girls' sense of disempowerment and goes to Emma, who doesn't feel qualified to offer much help in this particular area (sex), for help. Emma trashes today's female role models: Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan (noting that she looks like something out of the Lord of the Rings, which I'll admit did make me snicker), and Ann Coulter. Any guesses on which of those three I find most dangerous?
And then we get to watch the Cheerios run a routine on stilts to what I am going to assume is a Madonna song. Sue trashes them. Come on, Sue. STILTS!
Rachel thinks Madonna is a genius. Kurt thinks she's an icon. Puck thinks she's a MILF. Quinn is unimpressed with the genes that are being passed down to her gestating offspring. When the boys of the group (sans Kurt) complain about the Madonna centric project that Will assigns them, Will calls them on their crap, going to far as to call them bullying misogynists. Unsurprisingly, neither Finn nor Brittany know what that means.
So Madonna is somehow more offensive to the boy-mind than some of the other crap they've had crammed down their throats? Really?
The girls segue into a girl-centric song and dance number that is neat and visually appealing, if rather bland on the dancing front for what I would expect from a Madonna song. I find myself distracted by the dangling strappy buckle things from their costumes, however, and wonder if, were they to spin around too fast, they'd run the risk of putting each others' eyes out. That aside, I notice that only Kurt and Will are particularly impressed by their demonstration.
Following through on Sue's orders, Brittany is apparently dating a seven year old. So while I admit that I find that disturbing, at least they're intellectual equals, right? Santana is feeling the pressure to find her own younger man. Britt suggests Finn (three days younger totally counts, right?), despite his dislike for them following their unsuccessful wooing of his person, and encourages Santana to do what Madonna would suggest to keep a guy's everlasting love: take his virginity.
Santana propositions Finn who initially turns her down. Santana then proceeds to clue him in to Rachel's continued association with Jesse St. James and also gross me out with cat-in-heat references.
Sue equates Emma with a panda at the zoo who refuses to mate. And smiles beatifically after she does it. I am in awe.
Finn confronts Rachel on the Jesse thing and Rachel apparently convinces him not to spread the news around so long as she can keep it from hurting the club. Riiiight. And then they sing a fairly nice duet. And then breathe heavily at each other when they're done.
Sue confronts Will about doing a Madonna tribute and somehow stealing her thunder. And then insults his hair some more. He fires back about her Florence Henderson hairstyle. While I don't think his retort is at all funny, the expression on his face when he says it absolutely is. He walks away with a bounce in his step, obviously proud of himself. Kurt and Mercedes, audience to this little show, exchange a look that clearly wonders if they have a shot at making a run for it or if sudden movements will only cause the tiger to spring into action. Sue looks horrified and emotionally crushed. Whether it's due to the hair comment or Will actually fighting back or her feeling as though Madonna has been stolen from her, I do not know. She stalks off, assaulting innocent students along the way.
Finn accepts Santana's offer to relieve him of his virginity. Are they going to do it right there in the hallway or move to the more romantic setting of the choir room or a hot tub? Post office?
Kurt and Mercedes approach Sue about her reaction to Will's hair comments. She invites them in and proceeds to inform them of her childhood spent raising her handicapable sister while their Nazi-hunting parents were away. Together, they routinely bleached her hair with whatever handy products were lying around the house like ammonia and napalm. This led to permanently damaged hair that plagues Sue to this day, causing her intense envy of Will's lustrous locks. Kurt is visibly touched by these admissions. Calling upon the superpowers of his gayness and Mercedes' blackness, he claims that they can help her.
This whole exchange is so cracked that I cannot tell if I should take it at face-value as a typical piece of Glee wacky or if it is all part of some unnecessarily elaborate Sue Sylvester plot.
Rachel meets up with Jesse in the Sondheim section of the library and he tells her that he's sorry for pressuring her, he's willing to wait, and that he'll make sure he's fastidiously groomed. I'm... not going to bother asking what that means. Charmed again, she tells him she's ready. All part of his master plan, I'm sure.
Spurred on by Sue's meanness and Madonna's self-confidence, Emma propositions Will. She plans for foreplay to begin at his place at 7:30 sharp. Whatever happened to that ″finding yourselves″ crap from last episode? Can't we do that for a while? Note that they made this have-sex plan in the middle of a crowded hallway at their place of work and surrounded by high school students. Classy.
Hey! This is a Madonna number that I recognize! Vogue! We go to black-and-white screen for this number. Kurt is adorable in his tux with his serious face. I am brought back to the 11-year-old-milkmaid comment from many episodes ago whenever I see him. Chris Colfer is going to get carded forever, isn't he?
And Sue is playing the part of Madonna for this number. So, on the one hand, when I watch it and think of her as Sue Sylvester I am vaguely terrified – what is she up to? When I watch it as played by Jane Lynch I am charmed. There is also a shot featuring both Kurt and Mercedes in their tuxes, backs to each other but turning their heads to smile at each other that I really want turned into a computer background. Maybe that as the main focus with smaller shots of them ″posing″ beside it? Anyone feeling creative and kind?
Anyways, this scene is awesome, and we finally get to see Jane Lynch sing and dance. And her face, people. I cannot get over her facial expressions. *hearts*
Rachel, Finn, an Emma are all preparing themselves for their virginity-losing sessions. I think Rachel is wearing a mini cape. O_o And it's time to cue up ″Like a Virgin.″ Like we didn't see that one coming. (insert joke here[insert joke about inserting things here])
I had a tough time choosing between an insertion joke and a ″that's what she said″ joke. Look, people, I'm not being paid for this. My gutter-level humor is what it is.
Okay, seriously now. Are they all going to go through with this? Did Emma make Will bathe in bleach first? I imagine all these grinding scenes would have been very uncomfortable to film if any of the fellas popped an erection in the middle of it all. Snark aside, each couple is doing the same choreography in each of their respective locations and ways and it's a pretty neat, if... extended, visual mash-up. OMG! Santana is singing a bit of lead! She sounds awesome!
And now we're back to everyone looking at themselves in the mirror. Rachel says she's ready while appearing as though she is anything but. And... scene. So... that was a particularly fervid dream sequence.
The next day at school, Kurt is rocking the Sherlock Holmes look. Or something. The tie isn't working for me. Eh. Kurt and Mercedes debate which look Sue will now be sporting and freeze in shock when she marches down the hall... same as ever. Despite a brief tango with the cone bra (which she used to poke out children's eyes), with the help of a rousing talk with Figgins she's decided to leave constant reinvention to Madonna and honor her true, unique self. She doesn't need to reinvent herself, she merely needs to reinvent everyone else. Guess who she's going to start with.
Ah, the results of the sexcapades:
Rachel: Nope. She and Jesse actually talked about it candidly(ish) though.
Emma: Nope. And Emma ran out of Will's apartment in a panic without her shoes.
Finn: Yup. But apparently neither he nor Santana had that great a time and it seemed like ordering a burger held more appeal than basking in the glow and all that crap.
Right, both our sweet, innocent heroines remain virgins and Finn, the only male offering here, is the one to do the deed. Apparently getting little enjoyment out of the process. Yeah. I feel like I should say more here, but really, it's Glee and I should just move on, right?
Ooh, and Will officially filed for divorce. And he and Emma have instituted a strict no-dating policy. And Emma has the number for a therapist. I reeeeeeeally hope the suggestion of psychiatric care is due to noting that Emma has even herself acknowledged her issues, rather than AS A RESULT OF THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM! Believe me, Will, you do not need a psych diagnosis to not want to touch you with a 10 foot pole. Grrrrrr.
Oh, and Jesse St. James has a proposition for Will. Not that kind. And don't you dare send me links.
Jesse St. James has transferred to McKinley and will be joining the New Directions. The world is ending for everybody. Forget the Rachel & Finn show, we've now entered into the land of the Rachel & Jesse show. Jesse claims that he has left Vocal Adrenaline for Rachel. Quite the grand gesture, isn't it?
OH MY GOD KURT AND MERCEDES ARE ON THE CHEERIOS NOW? Did I drop acid by accident or something? And Kurt is singing in a lower-than-usual register, and he's kind of amazing at that, too. Dayum. And the epic awesomeness that is Kurt & Mercedes makes me happy.
Apparently the cheerleading squad doubles as the dance team. And their number involved a lot of writhing around on the floor. Hah! Creepy Jacob tries to interview Rachel for her reaction and she insta-shuts him down.
Will feels betrayed and hurt by Kurt and Mercedes' defection. Which is not actually a defection; they will be a member of both, and they handle the ″discussion″ with Will rather well, if flouncily, I feel.
And now we have the opening for ″What It Feels Like For A Girl″ done by the Glee fellas. While I agree that the opening makes an excellent point and I love them for putting it out there (again), the entire opening was delivered in such an awkward and uncomfortable manner that I cringed. They look like they want to be anywhere other than there.
Finn: ″Girls can wear jeans, and cut their hair short. Wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy.″
Artie: ″But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, 'cause you think that being a girl is degrading.″
So the boys are (mostly) calling themselves out for objectifying and degrading their female Glee counterparts. I'm sure any and all behavioral changes they may make from this realization will only last until the next episode starts. And Kurt is an Honorary Girl?
So are Artie and Tina going to be a thing now? Apparently. I wonder how long this is gonna last? (Yes, this show is warping my expectations of relationship longevity to an alarming extent.)
Hahahahahahaha! Jesse proposes a ″sing off″ to Finn to settle their differences and competition over Rachel. Rachel offers a tiny, squeaky ″no″ of terrified protest. Perhaps she expects the loser to become a castrato? Too late, Rach, they've already started puberty. Finn does not take the bait and instead welcomes Jesse to the group saying that he is tired of carrying the male vocals all my himself. Don't worry, Finn, you weren't carrying them all that far, believe me. Also, STOP BEING SMARMY, JESSE!
And now we get the ensemble singing ″Like a Prayer″ and several of them get an opportunity to shine and holy crap listen to Chris Colfer's range! Anyways, they reach into their miniscule Glee budget and hire a gospel choir for backup in that number. It's pretty great.
I gotta tell you, folks, this episode mostly (and unexpectedly) rocked my world.
Sue writes in her journal of her love for Madonna. And breaks the fourth wall by acknowledging her voiceover. Interesting. Is this a bad time to admit that I do not own (nor have I illegally downloaded) a single song by Madonna. And that I can only name a very short list of her songs? Don't tell Sue Sylvester on me.
Sue blackmails Figgins into playing Madonna songs on the loudspeaker at academically unwise volumes and tells her Cheerios that, in an effort to bolster their Nationals success, they will have to endeavor to honor Madonna in all ways, up to and including dating younger men. Preferably several of them at once. And referring to each other by first names only.
Apparently Jesse and Rachel go out to Wiggles concerts on their dates. Followed by intense makeouts. That's gotta be awkward. And Jesse is pressuring her for sex. I don't know how he drew the line from the Wiggles to sex, but I suppose that is a stereotypically teenage boy thing to do. Anyways, Rachel is going into far too much detail on this hypothetical situation to the Glee ladies, and fortunately Quinn cuts her off with a curt, ″Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby.″ Thank goodness for fetal squeamishness.
Speaking of Quinn and her baby, where are they shacking up these days? Her parents kicked her out and I imagine that she is no longer staying with fake-baby-daddy Finn's family.
Anyways, Rachel is asking for advice on how to handle a guy getting annoyed with her for saying no. Santana's strategy is to never say no, which Brittany agrees with, adding, ″What's the worst that could happen?″ Cut to a shot of Quinn's face. Awkward.
Mercedes acknowledges that she may not be the best person to ask given that the last person she had a crush on was gay. Tina says that they all just need to come to grips with the fact that guys don't care about girls' feelings. Her example? Artie telling her that he's willing to forgive her for faking her stutter and deign to date her, but only if she changes her goth outlook on life and get a new wardrobe. What a charmer he is.
Oh, I get it. In this episode we're going to dial the boys' latent (hah, right) misogyny up to a billion and make their behavior really over-the-top, aren't we? Not that the issues aren't there already, mind you, but I can just see us taking this to new and plot-convenient heights.
Will notices the girls' sense of disempowerment and goes to Emma, who doesn't feel qualified to offer much help in this particular area (sex), for help. Emma trashes today's female role models: Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan (noting that she looks like something out of the Lord of the Rings, which I'll admit did make me snicker), and Ann Coulter. Any guesses on which of those three I find most dangerous?
And then we get to watch the Cheerios run a routine on stilts to what I am going to assume is a Madonna song. Sue trashes them. Come on, Sue. STILTS!
Rachel thinks Madonna is a genius. Kurt thinks she's an icon. Puck thinks she's a MILF. Quinn is unimpressed with the genes that are being passed down to her gestating offspring. When the boys of the group (sans Kurt) complain about the Madonna centric project that Will assigns them, Will calls them on their crap, going to far as to call them bullying misogynists. Unsurprisingly, neither Finn nor Brittany know what that means.
So Madonna is somehow more offensive to the boy-mind than some of the other crap they've had crammed down their throats? Really?
The girls segue into a girl-centric song and dance number that is neat and visually appealing, if rather bland on the dancing front for what I would expect from a Madonna song. I find myself distracted by the dangling strappy buckle things from their costumes, however, and wonder if, were they to spin around too fast, they'd run the risk of putting each others' eyes out. That aside, I notice that only Kurt and Will are particularly impressed by their demonstration.
Following through on Sue's orders, Brittany is apparently dating a seven year old. So while I admit that I find that disturbing, at least they're intellectual equals, right? Santana is feeling the pressure to find her own younger man. Britt suggests Finn (three days younger totally counts, right?), despite his dislike for them following their unsuccessful wooing of his person, and encourages Santana to do what Madonna would suggest to keep a guy's everlasting love: take his virginity.
Santana propositions Finn who initially turns her down. Santana then proceeds to clue him in to Rachel's continued association with Jesse St. James and also gross me out with cat-in-heat references.
Sue equates Emma with a panda at the zoo who refuses to mate. And smiles beatifically after she does it. I am in awe.
Finn confronts Rachel on the Jesse thing and Rachel apparently convinces him not to spread the news around so long as she can keep it from hurting the club. Riiiight. And then they sing a fairly nice duet. And then breathe heavily at each other when they're done.
Sue confronts Will about doing a Madonna tribute and somehow stealing her thunder. And then insults his hair some more. He fires back about her Florence Henderson hairstyle. While I don't think his retort is at all funny, the expression on his face when he says it absolutely is. He walks away with a bounce in his step, obviously proud of himself. Kurt and Mercedes, audience to this little show, exchange a look that clearly wonders if they have a shot at making a run for it or if sudden movements will only cause the tiger to spring into action. Sue looks horrified and emotionally crushed. Whether it's due to the hair comment or Will actually fighting back or her feeling as though Madonna has been stolen from her, I do not know. She stalks off, assaulting innocent students along the way.
Finn accepts Santana's offer to relieve him of his virginity. Are they going to do it right there in the hallway or move to the more romantic setting of the choir room or a hot tub? Post office?
Kurt and Mercedes approach Sue about her reaction to Will's hair comments. She invites them in and proceeds to inform them of her childhood spent raising her handicapable sister while their Nazi-hunting parents were away. Together, they routinely bleached her hair with whatever handy products were lying around the house like ammonia and napalm. This led to permanently damaged hair that plagues Sue to this day, causing her intense envy of Will's lustrous locks. Kurt is visibly touched by these admissions. Calling upon the superpowers of his gayness and Mercedes' blackness, he claims that they can help her.
This whole exchange is so cracked that I cannot tell if I should take it at face-value as a typical piece of Glee wacky or if it is all part of some unnecessarily elaborate Sue Sylvester plot.
Rachel meets up with Jesse in the Sondheim section of the library and he tells her that he's sorry for pressuring her, he's willing to wait, and that he'll make sure he's fastidiously groomed. I'm... not going to bother asking what that means. Charmed again, she tells him she's ready. All part of his master plan, I'm sure.
Spurred on by Sue's meanness and Madonna's self-confidence, Emma propositions Will. She plans for foreplay to begin at his place at 7:30 sharp. Whatever happened to that ″finding yourselves″ crap from last episode? Can't we do that for a while? Note that they made this have-sex plan in the middle of a crowded hallway at their place of work and surrounded by high school students. Classy.
Hey! This is a Madonna number that I recognize! Vogue! We go to black-and-white screen for this number. Kurt is adorable in his tux with his serious face. I am brought back to the 11-year-old-milkmaid comment from many episodes ago whenever I see him. Chris Colfer is going to get carded forever, isn't he?
And Sue is playing the part of Madonna for this number. So, on the one hand, when I watch it and think of her as Sue Sylvester I am vaguely terrified – what is she up to? When I watch it as played by Jane Lynch I am charmed. There is also a shot featuring both Kurt and Mercedes in their tuxes, backs to each other but turning their heads to smile at each other that I really want turned into a computer background. Maybe that as the main focus with smaller shots of them ″posing″ beside it? Anyone feeling creative and kind?
Anyways, this scene is awesome, and we finally get to see Jane Lynch sing and dance. And her face, people. I cannot get over her facial expressions. *hearts*
Rachel, Finn, an Emma are all preparing themselves for their virginity-losing sessions. I think Rachel is wearing a mini cape. O_o And it's time to cue up ″Like a Virgin.″ Like we didn't see that one coming. (insert joke here[insert joke about inserting things here])
I had a tough time choosing between an insertion joke and a ″that's what she said″ joke. Look, people, I'm not being paid for this. My gutter-level humor is what it is.
Okay, seriously now. Are they all going to go through with this? Did Emma make Will bathe in bleach first? I imagine all these grinding scenes would have been very uncomfortable to film if any of the fellas popped an erection in the middle of it all. Snark aside, each couple is doing the same choreography in each of their respective locations and ways and it's a pretty neat, if... extended, visual mash-up. OMG! Santana is singing a bit of lead! She sounds awesome!
And now we're back to everyone looking at themselves in the mirror. Rachel says she's ready while appearing as though she is anything but. And... scene. So... that was a particularly fervid dream sequence.
The next day at school, Kurt is rocking the Sherlock Holmes look. Or something. The tie isn't working for me. Eh. Kurt and Mercedes debate which look Sue will now be sporting and freeze in shock when she marches down the hall... same as ever. Despite a brief tango with the cone bra (which she used to poke out children's eyes), with the help of a rousing talk with Figgins she's decided to leave constant reinvention to Madonna and honor her true, unique self. She doesn't need to reinvent herself, she merely needs to reinvent everyone else. Guess who she's going to start with.
Ah, the results of the sexcapades:
Rachel: Nope. She and Jesse actually talked about it candidly(ish) though.
Emma: Nope. And Emma ran out of Will's apartment in a panic without her shoes.
Finn: Yup. But apparently neither he nor Santana had that great a time and it seemed like ordering a burger held more appeal than basking in the glow and all that crap.
Right, both our sweet, innocent heroines remain virgins and Finn, the only male offering here, is the one to do the deed. Apparently getting little enjoyment out of the process. Yeah. I feel like I should say more here, but really, it's Glee and I should just move on, right?
Ooh, and Will officially filed for divorce. And he and Emma have instituted a strict no-dating policy. And Emma has the number for a therapist. I reeeeeeeally hope the suggestion of psychiatric care is due to noting that Emma has even herself acknowledged her issues, rather than AS A RESULT OF THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM! Believe me, Will, you do not need a psych diagnosis to not want to touch you with a 10 foot pole. Grrrrrr.
Oh, and Jesse St. James has a proposition for Will. Not that kind. And don't you dare send me links.
Jesse St. James has transferred to McKinley and will be joining the New Directions. The world is ending for everybody. Forget the Rachel & Finn show, we've now entered into the land of the Rachel & Jesse show. Jesse claims that he has left Vocal Adrenaline for Rachel. Quite the grand gesture, isn't it?
OH MY GOD KURT AND MERCEDES ARE ON THE CHEERIOS NOW? Did I drop acid by accident or something? And Kurt is singing in a lower-than-usual register, and he's kind of amazing at that, too. Dayum. And the epic awesomeness that is Kurt & Mercedes makes me happy.
Apparently the cheerleading squad doubles as the dance team. And their number involved a lot of writhing around on the floor. Hah! Creepy Jacob tries to interview Rachel for her reaction and she insta-shuts him down.
Will feels betrayed and hurt by Kurt and Mercedes' defection. Which is not actually a defection; they will be a member of both, and they handle the ″discussion″ with Will rather well, if flouncily, I feel.
And now we have the opening for ″What It Feels Like For A Girl″ done by the Glee fellas. While I agree that the opening makes an excellent point and I love them for putting it out there (again), the entire opening was delivered in such an awkward and uncomfortable manner that I cringed. They look like they want to be anywhere other than there.
Finn: ″Girls can wear jeans, and cut their hair short. Wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy.″
Artie: ″But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, 'cause you think that being a girl is degrading.″
So the boys are (mostly) calling themselves out for objectifying and degrading their female Glee counterparts. I'm sure any and all behavioral changes they may make from this realization will only last until the next episode starts. And Kurt is an Honorary Girl?
So are Artie and Tina going to be a thing now? Apparently. I wonder how long this is gonna last? (Yes, this show is warping my expectations of relationship longevity to an alarming extent.)
Hahahahahahaha! Jesse proposes a ″sing off″ to Finn to settle their differences and competition over Rachel. Rachel offers a tiny, squeaky ″no″ of terrified protest. Perhaps she expects the loser to become a castrato? Too late, Rach, they've already started puberty. Finn does not take the bait and instead welcomes Jesse to the group saying that he is tired of carrying the male vocals all my himself. Don't worry, Finn, you weren't carrying them all that far, believe me. Also, STOP BEING SMARMY, JESSE!
And now we get the ensemble singing ″Like a Prayer″ and several of them get an opportunity to shine and holy crap listen to Chris Colfer's range! Anyways, they reach into their miniscule Glee budget and hire a gospel choir for backup in that number. It's pretty great.
I gotta tell you, folks, this episode mostly (and unexpectedly) rocked my world.
